Browsing all posts in Other people.
Competitive Parenting
We’ve all been there: at a school or social function, with other moms and their kids. The moms are all jostling for position, reaching for the ever-ephemeral “perfect mother” title. Competitive parenting. The problem is, no one knows the RULES. It’s hard to win without goal posts. So I offer, free of charge, the very [...]
Did You Really Just Do That?
An open letter to the lady who sat in front of us in the movie on Friday afternoon: I realize it was dark. That’s because WE waited until most of the way through the previews, so we could find a wide open spot, far away from everyone else. And you came in later yet. But, [...]
It’s Okay to Say Merry Christmas–Just Not to ME
It’s okay to say “Merry Christmas.” Go ahead. To your neighbor who puts up a million kilowatts of Christmas lights. He has branded himself. It’s okay. To the lady checking out at the supermarket wearing a gaudy light-up Christmas tree sweater. Chances are, she won’t be offended, at all. To the guy in his SUV [...]
Two Hours Later–I Get It–So Why Didn’t You?
Getting rid of a kid for a week during the holidays? Priceless. Actually, $60 and a two-hour orientation. The $60 was worth every penny. The two hours I can never get back. Normally, I avoid command performances more carefully than the plague. The plague I can cure. But there has never been a two hour [...]
We Interrupt This Program…
Your scheduled dose of the follies of medicine past has been temporarily interrupted by the follies of medicine present. The Goth fell off his bike on the way to school today. He and the bike have a contentious relationship, starting the day he gave himself a tib-fib fracture when Stretch pushed him into a door [...]
The Mother’s Guide to Men’s Restroom Etiquette
Dear Abby, Thursday August 13. Moms write in worried about sending their 7 year old sons into men’s bathrooms alone. Tone of each letter talks about how anything can and does happen to these poor children. Suggestions range from two way radios, to going into said bathroom to make sure it’s empty, to standing outside [...]
Here’s $200. Lose my Kid.
Anyone else following the Continental airlines snafu? In one week, Continental managed to lose TWO, count ‘em, TWO unaccompanied minors. They were both placed on the wrong planes. Their luggage got there, but not the children. I’m having a blast. (Continental is having a bad week. They also lost a pilot, mid-flight, over the Atlantic. [...]
The Six O’Clock Parent (Mother’s Day Special Rehash)
You’ve had a really bad day. One child is sick, the other three are getting there. Little ones who are about to be sick are easy to spot—they’re the ones who are completely out of control. They don’t feel good, you see, so they take it out on you. By six o’clock, you are at [...]
Don’t Tell Me Your Pregnancy Horror Stories! (Sunday Rehash)
However, there is a far more insidious reason. They have come from far and wide, traveling both ways uphill in the snow, to enlighten you. You are about to become the victim of the PREGNANCY HORROR STORY.
The Buttinskis
I cannot think of any other profession (aside, perhaps, from politics) where total strangers feel free to walk up to you on the street and inform you that you are incorrect. Not once, while I was masquerading as a doctor, did a person of my non-acquaintance flag me down in Target and tell me that [...]
