Browsing all posts in Children.
The Six O’Clock Parent (Mother’s Day Special Rehash)
You’ve had a really bad day. One child is sick, the other three are getting there. Little ones who are about to be sick are easy to spot—they’re the ones who are completely out of control. They don’t feel good, you see, so they take it out on you. By six o’clock, you are at [...]
Crotchety Old Men (Sunday Rehash)
Every parent who has been out of the house with her children has run into a Crotchety Old Man (COM). These are the retirees who are so old that they don’t remember what it was like to be a parent, let alone a kid.
The Top Ten Ways to Deal with a Kid’s Messy Room
10. Close the door. Quantum physics tells us that, if there is no observer, the quantum waves don’t collapse. So there is no room to be messy.
9. Invent an imaginary friend. “He cleans his room every day. But the poltergeist comes out and messes it up while he’s at school.”
The “Now, Johnny” Syndrome
The “Now, Johnny” Syndrome is affectionately named for an eight-year old who picked a fight with a plate-glass window while I was in medical school.
He was okay. He only had minor, surface lacerations. Which is how I got stuck with Johnny. If he had been more badly injured, he would have gone upstairs to surgery, where they would have sedated him FIRST THING. But, since my surgery resident was really, really busy sewing up a guy who got knifed in a fight, and then the guy who knifed the first guy, and then the guy who shot the second guy, Johnny was mine.
Slave Labor & Selective Hearing Loss
One of the unexpected benefits of the economic slowdown (meltdown?) is that my over-privileged children are having to do a little work around here.
Not to say that we haven’t always expected certain chores of them. They do their own laundry, and clean their own rooms (yeah, right. What that means is that MOM DOESN’T.)
There Will Be Blood
When my kids were little, my husband wasn’t around a lot. He was trying to build a patient base in a two man practice. My kids and I went everywhere together, alone. People would look at me and see all these kids without a father and ask me if I was a single parent. The [...]
Someone Get Me a Scorecard!
You can please some of the people some of the time, except at the dinner table.
On child won’t eat cured pork products. One won’t eat chicken, unless it’s fried. One doesn’t like the texture of fish. One likes carrots, but not peas. One likes peas, but not broccoli. One will eat broccoli, but only the very tip-tops of the florets.
And just when you think you have it all figured out, it all CHANGES. Now THIS one is allergic to chicken, and THAT one won’t eat broccoli.
Why do boys have that aimer-thingy, if they aren’t going to use it?
I have four boys. They share two bathrooms.
And I have two bathroom floors that need to be replaced.
Now, I’m a girl, and I don’t have a handy-dandy aimer thingy. But it would seem, wouldn’t it, that they should be able to AIM with it?
What? Celebrities Aren’t Good Role Models? Really?
Over the last week or so, I’ve seen a lot of ranting about celebrities and how they aren’t good role models for our children.
No, REALLY?
Corporeal Punishment? Is that a Yes/No Question?
Corporeal punishment isn’t a yes/no question. Draconian punishment, however, isn’t a question at all.
