Why Your Teen is an Emotional Mess
We parents are often stymied by how a teenager can turn a papercutter into an emotional crisis.
Honest-to-your-favorite-deity, the Goth one day had a total meltdown over a missing piece of a papercutter. Which HE was the last one to use.
Who knew papercutters were such emotionally hot-button issues? I would have guessed postage stamps, myself. They at least have the advantage that they are never around when you need them, sort of like spouses.
I have decided that teenagers simply aren’t wired the way adults are. And, GUESS WHAT? I was right.
An MRI study on the brains of teens has shown that teens process emotions by short circuiting their cortex. In other words, there is no higher control. They have an emotion, and then they lose it.
[Okay, it was teen rodents. But STILL...]
Explains a lot, doesn’t it????
We docs have known for a while that certain pathways develop at certain times. The pathways that regulate bowel and bladder control, for instance, fully myelinate (on average) between the age of 2-1/2 and 3. So anyone who claims their kid is potty trained before two is kid-trained, not the other way around.
The pathways that allow voluntary breath holding aren’t really wired until the age of three, which is why the pediatricians don’t recommend those ridiculous water-baby classes.
So, if teenagers process emotions without running them through their cortex first, maybe that means that they should be wearing emotional diapers.
Luckily, THEY DO.
Teens today walk around with their heads plugged into those ubiquitous sound generators we call iPods. Then they plug the holes on both sides of their heads with the ear buds. Voila–emotional continence control.
I think Steve Jobs is absolutely brilliant. Does he have teenagers? Must.
The next time you yell at your kid to take his headphones out of his ears and listen to you, you might want to think twice.
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15 Comments
Dr. Grumpy
Sunday, 22nd November 2009 at 10:22 pm
It's so much easier to give them an iPod than to strangle them and hide the body.
Michele
Monday, 23rd November 2009 at 1:42 am
I'm with Dr. Grumpy.
However, isn't an iPod the teenage equivalent of a pacifier?
TheMother
Monday, 23rd November 2009 at 1:47 am
But it doesn't cause palatal arch abnormalities. Or speech impediments.
Hearing loss remains to be seen.
Stephanie B
Monday, 23rd November 2009 at 4:51 am
My daughter has several pacifiers (the teenager, not the baby). I remember her having an absolute conniption because she wanted something called a god-awfully ugly "mum" for homecoming for $40 (that her boyfriend was technically supposed to buy). I was at a loss as to why anyone with a brain would pay money for this monstrosity. I think my daughter broke blood vessels in her eyes from my cruelty.
Yes, I eventually caved. And then her father had a conniption at the last minute over something else so they didn't even use the mum. (Same stuff happened this year, except she bought her boyfriend's mum only to have him cancel at the last minute – I'm noting a trend).
Paula
Monday, 23rd November 2009 at 5:04 am
Does this apply to pre-teens too? Because it would explain a lot.
The Dental Maven
Monday, 23rd November 2009 at 12:00 pm
Eeegads! Bypassing the cortex and running straight to the amydala!! I'm thanking my lucky stars the outcome isn't worse than it is!!!
Helene
Monday, 23rd November 2009 at 8:34 pm
I had no idea about the voluntary breathing for young children under 3. Interesting!!! I think MIchele is absolutely right that the Ipod is a teenage version of a pacifier!
frogmama
Tuesday, 24th November 2009 at 1:31 am
This is going to come in so handy when Junior is a teenager. I feel better knowing that there's a method to the teenage madness and that they outgrow (hopefully) the emotional rollarcoaster.
Lawyer Mom
Tuesday, 24th November 2009 at 2:14 am
Okay. I'm off to buy stock in Apple right now. (Also saw that ipods — music — reduces effects of dementia and Alz.). Like I said, am off to buy Apple stock now.
Mrsbear
Tuesday, 24th November 2009 at 2:14 am
Makes absolute sense. My teen is wildly unpredictable. Today every time I asked her what I thought was a reasonable question, she looked at me like I had sprouted a second head and that second head was possibly eating a puppy. I'm for whatever keeps her emotions on an even keel, short of heroin that is. Lately it's the iPod and her AIM account. And sleep, she could do that for 18 hours straight if I let her. And I've only got to do this three more times. Yay.
Fragrant Liar
Tuesday, 24th November 2009 at 2:49 am
If I gave them iPods, they'd never hear me yelling! And By-My-Chosen-Deity, they need to hear me yell! iPods just defeat the purpose of parenting, you ask me…
sara
Tuesday, 24th November 2009 at 3:05 am
I have seen this study as well, and was interested in it. It happened that I heard it shortly after I found out that my 15 year old brother in law and his 15 year old girlfriend were expecting a baby. It was scary to think of what they were taking on…with the brains they have!
Grandy
Tuesday, 24th November 2009 at 9:18 pm
BRILLIANT!! I'll make sure to have a vomit bucket nearby when I pull those emotional continence controls out of his ears next time.
Momisodes
Wednesday, 25th November 2009 at 1:55 am
I wonder if toddlers process emotions in a similar fashion, because you should see how my 4 yr old reacts to a missing stuffed animal. Perhaps I need to get her an iPod.
The Mayor
Sunday, 6th December 2009 at 4:07 am
I'm wondering what brain misfire caused ME to pin my high schooler against her bathroom wall last month? Maybe I need to start wearing an iPod at all times and just shake my head in agreement whenever any of these heathens around here start yakking at me.
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