Thou Shalt Steal the Pacifier

None of my children were huge on the pacifiers, but they were all off what little they used them by one years old. My son, however, sucked his thumb when he was tired/upset, for years afterwards and, unfortunately, you can't just throw thumbs away. (He also stole other baby's pacifiers even though he'd never been much interested in it himself). My daughter (baby) does her two fingers instead when she's tired, I don't know why.

I have seen children in the store who were 5-6 years old sucking binkies, though. Scary.

Thanks for bringing that to the fore, Mother! Despite the "improvements" made in the shape of pacifiers, prolonged use – definitely not good for the shape of the childs dental arch and hence placement of erupting teeth. By the second birthday – get rid of it!

None of our kids took a pacifier after the first month, and we didn't force it. No problems after that. Plus, they all were talking in complete sentences by the time they were walking.

TWO? Really? I would have said six months. Is it really safe to wait until two? I mean, by a year they should be off the breast/bottle, and drinking out of a cup (no, I have nothing against prolonged comfort breastfeeding, but by a year the kid is getting most of his nutrition elsewhere). Why on earth do they still need to suck?

I find that the moms with kid s with chronic pacifier needs are the ones who also shoved the paci in every time the kid opened his mouth to tell them something as an infant. My MIL tried to do that to my kids and I cut her off instantly. The kid gets to babble, cry or whatever sometimes and if he spits it out, for god's sake, why would you shove it back in? My kids, strangely, didn't get addicted to the paci. Perhaps I'm smarter than I realized? Because it just seems like common sense not to muzzle an infant. And I had three at once, so I can tell you the temptation was there…

I know several mothers who breastfed past a year and several who have been breastfeeding for several years. Not advocating it (when we get into multiple years, it seems excessive to me, but, then, I failed at breastfeeding), but noting that it's out there.

Pacifiers for teenagers…mmm. I think you might be on to something.

I couldn't agree more. I tend to raise my brow whenever I see toddlers walking around with pacifiers in their mouth in public. But then again, it's not my child.

We used it for a few months with our daughter, but certainly made a concerted effort to discontinue it before her teeth came in or became a crutch for her.

I thought that's what cell phones were for.

Hmm. I wonder what it says about the kid's psychological state when they're sucking at that age. I sucked my thumb FOREVER, even had a lump on it from all the sucking. Maybe I should call my analyst.

Pacifiers and toddlers? I have one word about those mothers: lazy. It's easier to stick a pacifier in a kid's mouth than actually deal with the kid or be a parent. I refer you to your post yesterday…I'd bet the Ostrich Parent was also a Pacifier Parent.

I've also seen parents put soda in a baby bottle to keep the kid sucking and quiet.

Full disclosure: I never gave any of my kids a pacifier. I also felt like I was going to have a nervous breakdown until my last child reached the age of three and finally stopped the noise that we call toddlerhood, so there you are.

Ok, not to be argumentative but the last time I read up on it, the WHO recommended that children nurse to the age of two. I totally get the pacifier debate though, I hated watching my friend's three year old twins walking around with pacifiers and taking a bottle at 3 years old. Really? How do people like that deal with their children as they get older??

SEE? My kid isn't even two yet. But honestly, it's not as simple as fearing to upset her. I piss her off all the time with rules and boundaries and room deportations. Right now the pacifier comforts her and helps her sleep. She usually only has it in bed (unless we're forced into a public situation when she should be napping). Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to argue you; I know better. But with all respect, the pacifier situation isn't as simple and clear-cut as you're making it out to be. At least for me and my kid.

I had a hard time taking away my 5-yr old twins’ pacis…they used them until they were 3 and then I just cut them off cold turkey. It was actually easier than I expected. My 2-yr old twins…only one of them uses a paci but it’s only at night and even recently he’s been saying he doesn’t want it.

I have to admit though the main reason I let the older twins have their pacis for so long is because I couldn’t deal with the crying X 2 all night long over it. There finally came a time where we all just needed some sleep!

Both of mine had pacifiers until they were two, not all the time, but if they felt like they wanted it, I'd let them have it. So far, no major abnormalities and their teeth aren't coming out of their noses….of course, they aren't teenagers yet either.

My oldest two were VERY attached to their pacifiers. My only rationale at that age was survival. The binky was for comfort. Although I did start transitioning them to other comfort objects and self-soothing after the age of one, it was just one of the battles I didn't pick as a top priority. Not that I didn't care about their teeth, I just cared about their current sleep patterns more. Of course you're right, and like everyone else I'm not stupid enough to argue with you, pediatricians, or dentists. Breaking the binky habit was hard. I probably was a little lazy; but honestly, I also felt really guilty that I was a breastfeeding failure. I encouraged pacifier use the first four to six months to meet that physiological need I couldn't, and then spent the next two years weaning them. I got lucky with the next two kids – they weren't impressed with the fake boobie at all.

You wouldn't have seen my toddlers walking through the store with their binkies though. Mine were picky and I wasn't going to risk losing my one and only bedtime accomplice at the grocery store. You should also know that having gone through breaking that binky addiction, my kids are really anti-smoking. I mean, they really don't want to go throught THAT again.

Great, thought-provoking post as usual! I really admire the your conviction.

I posted a while back about my two pacifier-addicted nieces (both of which have needed multiple tube surgeries because of nonstop ear infections… HOW INTERESTING), the youngest of which was not speaking or interacting with anyone. My MIL hid the pacifier at an opportune time as soon as the parents were out of sight & that one-year-old started USING WORDS. Her parents showed back up a few days later and immediately plugged her, almost in a panic. She shut back down.

Interesting how their pediatrician has dictated every minute thing down to the exact number of days to leave between the extremely rigid schedule of food introduction… to the point where they feel the need to leave 3,000 word essays on the care of their kids for two days… but never mentioned that maybe those pacifiers were causing a LOT of problems for both of them?

Maybe it's just been too damned profitable for him. I think they rent out their own exam room, they spend so much time there.

I hate when I get distracted & forget something. I looked up the 'tea & toast ladies' –> and it made my hair stand on end. I found a medical article talking about possible detrimental health effects & she has many of them. Her biggest problem before the bones was hyponatremia. Which was listed as a side effect of malnutrition. Which her doctor told her was not related to the extraordinarily high levels of coke intake. I called my dad & mentioned this… and he said, "I know. She will only go to doctors who tell her what she wants to hear. If they tell her the truth she goes to a different one. I took out a life insurance policy on her two weeks ago." He told her he did it, and that he did it because she's on a mission to kill herself by soda pop. He tends to say things in a different way, in case you were wondering. Things are a little… tense… at their house right now. I hope it shakes her up a little, makes her think. Maybe. Nothing else has worked.

They learn other self-comforting behaviors. My son twists the hair at his crown when he is tired or stressed. My husband did that as a kid, too. He still does, over the age of 30 now. If he is driving a car and twisting his hair, get him out of the driver's seat! We all have self-comforting behaviors that (usually) change as we get older into socially acceptable or unnoticeable behaviors. Or we quit when we don't need them anymore.

The problem with a paci is that it encourages a kid to delay learning a higher level self-comforting behavior, and it can really screw up their mouths. With my nieces it has even delayed their speech (I commented this elsewhere). If you stop them when they stop nursing or bottle-feeding, it's pretty easy. If you let it go beyond that, you could have a big problem getting them to stop.

(My daughter was extremely fixated on sucking & putting things in her mouth & she still is, at age 9 – she will still put a finger in her mouth when she's really tired or overwhelmed. So I know all about that kind of kid.)

My youngest turns two on Monday. She's been only using her pacifiers at night since she was about 8 months old. Lately, it's been one in the mouth and one in each hand. She's going to think she needs a substitute soother. I'm undecided on this so far. I don't want her dragging around a quilt when she goes to college, but I like that she is no-maintenance when I put her in her crib.

I am so happy Junior never took to the pacifier. I heard weening is awful. I have friends who are new moms and at the first sign of whimpering, they shove the pacifier in the kid's mouth. Drives me nuts. Why encourage it?

I can't stop thinking how great it would be if I could plug up my daughters every now and then – just when they were REALLY getting on my nerves

My youngest child adores her pacifier. She's 3 and a half years old. Yes, I could easily forcefully remove the pacifier from her life. I just don't want to. She's very attached to that little thing. It's a "lovey" to her.

She's never had an ear infection – not even one.

I'm sure there are those who dislike my choice. Of course, I've never concerned myself with the opinions of others when it comes to raising my children.

Allowing a child to have a pacifier does not equate to laziness. That is an extreme generalization.

I'm with you. My 5 year old sucks her thumb. My 3 year old has a pacifier. She even has a name for her pacifier (Passa).

My 15 year old had his pacifier until sometime after his 2nd birthday. He gave it up on his own when he was ready. His teeth are fine and his behavior is normal … for a teenager.

Except for my youngest, my kids all used pacifiers well in to their walking years. Three was our cutoff, but then it was only for sleep purposes. We never brought the pacifiers with us to the mall in case of a sudden tantrum, they were used strictly for soothing at bed time, which posed a completely separate challenge once we decided to finally eliminate it from the routine. Cutting out the paci was cake compared to the teen angst stage for sure.

I could have not survived without the use of pacis (we called them dubbies) for bed time and car seat soothing. Do what you have to do to survive, just use common sense. No judging needed by others.

Now the soda pop in a bottle, that's a whole different story.

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