So Much for Teaching Responsibility

scoutsOnce upon a time, an organization was born which was dedicated to helping young men learn the tools necessary to lead a successful life. It took off, rapidly. There are now chapters in virtually every country.

No organization is perfect, and I know that fellow non-theists will turn over in their seats when I admit that my Jewish son belongs to the Boy Scouts. He loves it.

The thing I like about it is that it’s HIS thing. He gets the emails from the troop. He deals with the requirements. He’s expected to keep track of his duties and his equipment and his stuff.

It’s the responsibility thing. And there, the scouts and I have a big swath of complete agreement.

So, recently, he went to a merit badge class. These things are held all over the scouting world, to help boys work on some of the more complicated badges. We’ve been to them all over not just the city, but the region.

In every case (up to now), the parents have NO involvement. The responsibility thing, you see. Drop them off and pick them up. Kid forgets lunch? He starves. He’ll live and he’ll learn. Kid doesn’t do requirements? No badge. It’s the Mother’s style parenting, in an organization. Gotta love it.

THIS particular establishment (and hubby forbids me to tell you WHERE, since you already know where I live and, well, he doesn’t want angry people with pitchforks at the front door to burn the atheist at the stake) required the parent to attend. We even had to purchase a ticket, just like the kid.

I asked when I signed him up if that meant the parents were actively involved. NOPE. Just supposed to sit there.

FOR SIX AND A HALF HOURS.

I took my laptop and figured I’d get some writing done.

No such luck. Because every time the boys went off to do an activity, WE had to go, too. Because, apparently, kids spontaneously combust if their parents’ eyeballs are not directly attached.

In, out, up, down, for six and a half hours of total, mind numbing boredom. I mean, I’ve DONE all that. I did not need to attend the merit badge class.

I played so many games of Bejeweled on my PDA that my eyes were crossed.

I am not good at abject sloth. I really needed a tranquilizer or something.

SO, what happened to that whole Boy Scout, responsibility thing????

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149 Comments

That description is exactly why I won't sign my girls up for Girl Scouts. Well, I almost did one year because one of my best friends was running a troop, but there was a slight schedule conflict. Anyway, I saw how running a troop almost KILLED my friend and vowed to never participate. Seriously. I'd need a Valium subscription.

They are lucky your battery lasted. We probably would have seen you in the news if your pda had died at hour 2. Hehehehehe….

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My eyes rolled back into my head in sympathy. I'll send my boy of with Daddy. I know what to do with girls.

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But did you get your badge? ;-)

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TheMother Replies:

No, but I did get a headache.

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SIX AND A HALF HOURS?!? Good heavens to Betsy. What on earth were they talking about? You now, I'd been mulling over BoyScouts for Mr. M . . . but after that? I think, well, not.

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TheMother Replies:

If I haven't stressed this enough, this particular set up was VERY UNUSUAL. Usually, it's drop and go. Not that the parents don't have some involvement, and they always need volunteers, but the established troops are pretty set up to do stuff. Mommy not required.

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You've got to be kidding me??? My daughter just joined the Daisies and about died when I saw all the things they were asking volunteers for (in fact, I'm working on a blog post about it). Now my son wants to do Cub Scouts. I'm not sure I'm cut out for this stuff.

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Six and a half hours? And you didn't scream or tear one of the organizers to shreds? (And you called **me** nice on my blog yesterday!) By the end of the first hour I would have been loudly questioning, "So what do you need me here for? What is my purpose? How is keeping my eyes glued to my kid helping here? I'm supposed to be supportive? This isn't support–it's torture!" And on and on. Don't believe me? Ask my husband, who will quickly vouch for my–ahem–"vocal ways."

Kid organizations who are frantically begging for volunteers for unreasonable tasks are run by helicopter parents. They, of course, think everyone should be a helicopter parent, too. (Helene–stay strong, girl!!)

My favorite "parent organization" was a dance company's parent booster club. The parents dropped their kids off at class/rehearsal…then all met for cocktails at the local pub. Sometimes we even called the dads to go pick up the kids so we could continue our "meeting." This is my idea of parents getting together during a kid activity–if not over cocktails, then at least coffee. Or chocolate.

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TheMother Replies:

I did, actually, grumble, scream, complain, carry on, and spend a lot of time whining audibly from the back of the room. "Nice" would not apply.

But none of that can change their policy. So I do intend to write a letter.

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TheMother Replies:

And I intend never to send Stretch to any merit badge classes there, ever again.

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We are 110% pro Boy Scouts in this house. It is not a Christian organization, believe it or not. The goal was to teach young men & women how to be self-reliant, courageous, resourceful, etc., not to mention physically fit. "Boy Scouts should be helpful; understand their society, heritage, and culture; have respect for the rights of others; and be positive leader-citizens." It is inclusive of all religions and cultures, unless you get some local nutter running the troop in your area. But that religious attitude does not represent the Boy Scouts.

My husband is an Eagle Scout. In his day, you earned a merit badge by doing something, like learning CPR, or building a playground for the local middle school. The Boy Scouts taught my husband how to build, how to sail, fish, camp, cook outdoors, survive in the wilderness among many other things. But your troop is only as good as the effort everyone puts in. My husband was really lucky. He had an awesome scout leader, "Big G" who really made the boys aware of what they were doing and how to do things the right way, instead of simply letting them running amok at the local campground, while they kicked back with some beers and tuned out. My husband's father was very active in the troop, as well, joining them on camping, sailing and fishing trips. So this particular group of boys prospered.

Again – if these groups get no support or help ever from the parents, what do you expect? I agree, 6.5 hours is a long time to sit around, but what were the kids actually doing? What does a "merit badge class" entail? Is this where the kids get tested on the skills they need to receive their merit badges? Where they get to proudly display the neat things they can do while everyone groans in boredom? Nice – LOL!

I agree that helicopter parents and hovercrafts are idiots. They are not teaching their kids to be self-reliant. But these organizations need parental involvement and help from time to time, too, because remember – most of what they do, they volunteer for the betterment of other people's kids. You get what you give, I guess.

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TheMother Replies:

No, the Boy Scouts are not a Christian organization. But they do, regrettably, REQUIRE a belief in a supreme being. Atheists need not apply. They get away with it because they are a "private" organization.

Several long term adult scout leaders, who dedicated their lives to the scouts, have been forced out recently because their non-theistic views came to the attention of the powers that be.

I agree wholeheartedly with the merits of the scouts–otherwise, the kid wouldn't be there, considering their religious intolerance.

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I wouldn't allow my son to be in boy scouts way back when, for many reasons I won't go into here but when daughter started kindergarten last year she wanted to be a Daisy. Any qualms I might have about the whole scouting experience were squelched because if daughter is a Daisy she can sell Girl Scout Cookies and therefor I have a dealer once again. Daisys meet after school one afternoon a month. Parents are to pick the girls up when it is over unless they are volunteers. It might change but so far it has been perfect.

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This is right up there with that idiot school nurse, who called me and insisted that I bring Dolly and new pair of shoes, socks, and pants because she ran through mud puddles and was soaked from the knees down. I said, "if she has to sit there wet all day, she'll remember not to run through puddles any more."

I got a freaked-out lecture over the phone on not taking proper care of my child, then she came home dressed in loaner clothes.

They are completely undermining all my efforts to raise my children to be responsible adults.

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I've always berated myself for being a terrible ………mom (brownie, dance, soccer, cheer,PTA,etc).I dread the school music concerts. I'm just not that interested in other people's children and have a low tolerance for boredom. 6 1/2 hours!!!! is like an eternity with nothing to do is cruel and unusual punishment.

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Seriously, that sounds like one of my biggest nightmares. Second only to having my teeth fall out in a piece of gum.

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My son just joined the boy scouts. Since he's a first grader we were told that a parent has to attend every meeting. I've been making the husband go, but when he's on shift, it's my duty to sit there and keep my two year old from wreaking havoc and smile and pretend I don't loathe social functions and that the scout leaders don't look goofy in their uniforms…But my son LOVES it, so I guess I'll stick with it. Though 6 1/2 hours is insane. INSANITY.

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[...] don’t write about him all that often. Unless he’s refusing to wear his rubber bands or dragging me to a six-and-a-half hour boy scout snooze, he just doesn’t provide me with any [...]

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