Browsing all posts in August, 2009.

The Ten Commandments of Sending a Kid to College

[This post originally appeared on Timeless Bliss, back when I was welcome there. I think maybe two people read it. It's mine, so I'm reposting it here for  your edification.] When I sent my oldest off to college, I dropped him at the door and said, “Good luck.” His roommate’s parents hovered for a week. [...]

Breast Feeding, Toddler Style

In the weirdest news ever category, a toy manufacturer in Spain has begun shipping the world’s first breastfeeding doll. Let me explain. You see, some explanation is required. The doll owner–let’s not be sexist and expect that it’s a girl–puts on a vest. The doll cuddles up to said vest and, well, sucks. Somewhere around [...]

The Dark Side

Somewhere in my gut, I knew it all along. It began insidiously, of course, when a well-known game manufacturer made some tiny little announcement in a trade journal. Then the hype started. Everyone must do this! It’s so great! It’s fantastic! It’s a must-have! For only $49.95 (plus tax), (plus on-line fees of $13/month), you, [...]

Greek Maternity, or Why French Aristrocrats Cut Off Their Left Testicle

I promised you the history of motherhood, and by golly, that’s what you’re going to get. Hippocrates believed that the uterus had two sides, possibly with a septum in the center. While this is present in approximately 3% of the human female population (and does not appear to affect fertility), it is not considered normal [...]

The Mother’s 12 Step, Back to School Program

The summer took a lot out of us moms. The kids are about to go back to school. That’s good, right? Wrong. Back to school can be equally stressful. But if you follow The Mother’s 12 step, back to school program, you will at least not cave under the pressure. Step #1: Refill the kid’s [...]

The Noisy Toy Wars

Anyone ever play this game with a relative? It’s such a hoot. As the first family in our generation to produce progeny, we were the recipients of the first salvo. And the next forty. It’s hard to launch a counterattack when you can’t locate a target. When the Engineer was about four, and the Grouch [...]

Musical Chairs

In case you have never played this fun game, here are the basics: One child leaves the roost (summer camp, college, whatever). One chair is removed from the dining room table, and everybody moves up one. Personalities shift, based on the occupied chair. Or the removal of the non-occupied chair, anyway. Everyone grows up, just [...]