The Dark Side
Somewhere in my gut, I knew it all along.
It began insidiously, of course, when a well-known game manufacturer made some tiny little announcement in a trade journal.
Then the hype started. Everyone must do this! It’s so great! It’s fantastic! It’s a must-have!
For only $49.95 (plus tax), (plus on-line fees of $13/month), you, too, can become a different person. You can go on quests. You can learn trades (like sword-smithing and leather working–you know, useful stuff). You can interact with the whole world!
You can meet hot babes in skimpy leather costumes who can impale you in a microsecond. Never mind that most of them are played by guys.
The MMORPG was born.
[If you don't know what that stands for, you either: a) are childless and married to a non-geek, b) have kids under the age of five and are married to a non-geek, or c) live in a box.]
It casts its shadow insidiously. A few hours a day, at first. Then all day, every day. Then, the mandatory Tuesday withdrawal as the company takes its servers off-line for maintenance. The zombies stomp, dazed, around the house, counting the hours until the upgrades are complete and they can go back to being zombies in front of the computer.
At first, I was concerned. The whole household was on the game (well, the kids, anyway). They argued over servers like they argue over tv time or seating arrangements (MOM! He joined my server on PURPOSE!)
Then, one by one, three of the four found the game lost its appeal. They gradually came back to the light.
The fourth? Not so much.
I have been concerned about him. An eighteen year old who spends six hours a day pretending to be a night-elf has always been a bit disconcerting. He did, however, learn enough vocabulary from the game to ace his SAT, so who can complain?
BUT NOW, I know he’s in serious jeopardy. SATAN has him by the nose!
I know this because it was in the news this week. Here’s the article. MMORPGs are the Devil’s tools, meant to steal our brains and our lives, leading us to waste our time in oblivion rather than hear the call of God.
They are far more effective tools for the Dark One than, say, a regular video game, because they never shut down. They are always there, lurking, calling, waiting.
I think they’re wrong.
I mean, if you were the Devil, why choose to lure kids into a game they can play by themselves? Shouldn’t you go high impact? Get the WHOLE FAMILY at once? Especially the mom. If she goes, the kids are left unprotected. It’s a much better strategy.
I have a better candidate for the Devil’s Game.
The Devil works for the company that publishes the Settlers of Catan series. I know this, because I was once forced to play a game of Settlers of Catan with my Catan crazed children.
Or maybe it’s Diplomacy. Ever played? There is nothing like a five day long strategy game to turn a mom to the dark side.
You know that lovely sensation of listening to fingernails being scraped on a chalkboard?
But since my dining room has been taken over for the last week by a bevy of college aged boys men, yelling, whooping, and generally causing mayhem, my current vote is for a role playing game called Hackmaster.
The Devil’s work, I tell you. Give me a computer and a quiet MMORPG to park my kid in front of, any day.
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12 Comments
Dr. Dad
Sunday, 9th August 2009 at 3:15 pm
MMORPGs may be "addictive," but so are a lot of fun hobbies and pastimes. Same might be said about blogging. Take the test according to that article:
1. Do you blog compulsively?
2. Do you blog for long periods of time (often longer than you had planned)?
3. Once online, do you have difficulty stopping blogging?
4. Do you blog as often as you can?
5. Do you sneak or violate family rules in order to blog, even when facing punishment or loss of privileges for doing so? (okay, that one doesn't work with mom or dad)
6. When you are not blogging, do you obsess about your blog and others, plotting and planning your next opportunity to blog?
7. Do you sacrifice real-world things for your blogging?
8. Is your blogging negatively affecting your relationships with family members or other non-blogger friends? For instance, if you are a parent, does it cause you to neglect your children’s needs?
9. Do you consider other online bloggers (even those whom you’ve never met in real life) to be among your best friends?
10. Is your work suffering because of the time and energy you spend blogging?
11. Do you worry that vacationing will interfere with your blogging because of the extended break from your blog that will naturally result?
12. Do you neglect personal hygiene?
13. Have your sleep patterns changed since you became involved with blogging? Are you staying up extremely late or getting up in the middle of the night to blog?
[Reply]
Stephanie B
Sunday, 9th August 2009 at 11:00 pm
I have a number of video games I like, but no MMORPGs. I don't like to pay for anything more than once and I'm happiest playing by myself.
I never played as a kid so my husband is a relative expert. It's not worth the aggravation to play with him and have him tell me what I'm doing wrong. It IS worth the aggravation to quietly beat the game before he does WITHOUT cheat codes.
[Reply]
TheMother Replies:
August 9th, 2009 at 11:52 pm
Winning the game with hubby? PRICELESS.
[Reply]
frogmama
Monday, 10th August 2009 at 1:16 am
Ooof, I am so distracted by Dr. Dad's comment I lost my train of thought.
Ok, here it is. I have no idea what MMORPG is. Which means that after coming to your blog I have learned that I have a blogging addiction and that I live in a box. Uh oh.
[Reply]
TheMother Replies:
August 10th, 2009 at 2:04 am
You have a little one. You are excused. MMORPG stands for Massively Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game. So now you know. You would have found out in about five years anyway.
Ignore anything Dr. Dad has to say. He's just mad at me today. Long story.
[Reply]
The Dental Maven
Monday, 10th August 2009 at 11:05 am
I think we're statistical outliers. I am married to a non-geek but my son is 8. Perhaps I can offer travel hockey as an excuse?
[Reply]
mrsbear
Tuesday, 11th August 2009 at 4:43 am
I can see my son falling in to this devil snare in the next few years, he's addicted to video games as it is. MMORPGs sound right up his alley, but if it keeps him quiet and improves his vocabulary, I'm all for it. Social lives are overrated anyway. And I have never neglected personal hygiene in favor of blogging.
[Reply]
Wendy
Tuesday, 11th August 2009 at 9:44 pm
First of all, you got this article off of LDS.org. I mean, come ON! That's like asking Jerry Falwell about gays.
Civ IV was invented by the devil, who decided Age of Empires was just too short a game. Who wants to destroy my house and marriage via dust bunnies. But those games you mentioned sound kind of interesting. I'm off to Google a bit!
[Reply]
TheMother Replies:
August 11th, 2009 at 11:44 pm
You have a point about Civ IV. My husband is currently addicted. Has it's advantages, though…
[Reply]
Dr. Grumpy
Wednesday, 12th August 2009 at 9:44 pm
I think all of these have to be used in moderation. I played Dungeons & Dragons at that age, but never to the point of obsession.
Hell, it beats using crack or joining a street gang.
[Reply]
the Mayor
Friday, 14th August 2009 at 3:32 pm
I can't seem to care about gaming, whether it's on the computer or at a casino. Must be something in my genetic make up.
I think Dr Dad has attempted to co-op your blog. Although he has some valid points I'm not falling for his sneaky way of letting us all know you are not meeting him in the love nest as often as he would like and he's blaming it on your commitment to blogging. That's what I think.
[Reply]
TheMother Replies:
August 14th, 2009 at 3:39 pm
And you might be right.
[Reply]
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