Cursive Discourse

I apparently need it myself.

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I can make a sailor blush and have made my trucker FIL blush on many occasions with my language. I worked hard in the kids first 5ish years of curbing my mouth and did a great job. But I taught the kids that it was inappropriate for them to say these words because they were too young. My youngest is 11 now and says crap. He says it all the time just because he "thinks" he's getting away with it. lol

Yes, I am fully aware that I'm raising the f**king osbournes and I'm ok with that. Language to me is a slight thing compared to actions and respect. I'll take the later two any day

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My parents taught us that swear words were ok if the situation warranted it, so in other words very, very rarely! They managed to stick to that rule themselves (at least in front of their kids) and I still, to this day, rarely swear.

A few years ago I was working as an au pair and was driving with the 2 year old in the car, I called someone who cut us off "idiot" and 2 y/o piped up from her car seat – "You don't say that! I copycat you!" So I guess no matter how much you tone down your language the kids will be listening and copying!

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This is a tough one, isn't it? In The Maven household we had to explain that these are adult words, just like adult actions of drinking alcohol, etc. And we NEVER want to be called by the school principal because our son was using those words! (We'll see if that works)

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Swearing in front of the kids "when the situation warrants it" doesn't always work well. You drop a few "F" bombs when you accidentally hammer your thumb, or accidentally bang your head on a counter top, etc, while your tyke is "helping daddy." Then a few days later the school calls… Guess which word little Johnny decided to share with the class!

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My kids' dad works in the oil industry. Picture construction workers. Maybe worse. The more often he goes to the field, the worse it is.

I started doing what I saw another mom do. I say, "that is a grown-up word. You can't say that until you are …" then I pick an age. The funny part is, the kids remember the ages I say. Later they'll be all, "So-and-so at school used a bad word, Mom. That word I can't say until I'm 14." And I'm clueless.

Examples:

Stupid – allowed, as long as it is not used to apply to a person. I think it's funny this is considered a bad word now. A person may not be called stupid, but they can have a stupid idea. Happens all the time, in fact.

Crap – 12-year-old word

Damn – 16-year-old word

F*** /Sh** /Etc…. – not around mom, ever. At your own discretion after you are 18, which is the age at which I lose the ability to punish you effectively.

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Hmmmm…that might be my best bet.

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I need the duct tape, I know I do. We recently had to explain to the 14 year old that she couldn't use the word twat (I can't believe I just wrote that down!) She didn't know what it was, and it is one of my all time funny words. But then again I never, ever use it in reference to a person.

All of ours have learned that there are adult words, and amazingly enough I've only gotten one phone call in 13 years. My ex-husband said mf in front of my son, and they called the very next day. He was 3.

This was funny as hell!

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Bwahahaha! I told my oldest she could say those words when she was 18. She would parrot that back to me before I even had a chance to say it after a while. Husband thinks it's funny to teach the baby to say bad words…well honestly it's pretty cute whens he calls him a jackass. LOl. IDK As the #1 tool in parenting I think duct tape, all around, IS the best answer here!

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I am 30. Swearing as "colloquial pepper" is sort of generational. People my age seem to have made the art of swearing blend in with everyday language. Why do I say something along the lines of "Where the f*ck is the cheese grater?" when I am not even all that mad? Really, it's just a question, yet I interject "f*ck" (which is supposed to be one of the sweariest swears) into any old sentence that didn't deserve it. So I blame it on my age. It's just what we gen Xers/Yers/ where ever the hell I fall do. I don't like it, but I can't stop either.

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This is so funny. I have to admit, I love when kids swear. I know, it's terrible, but it's just so funny coming out of their mouths! I have overheard my 5-yr-old muttering "dammit" under her breath several times. I think the best part is that she knows to mutter it, trying to hide it…exactly the way I do. Oops.

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How funny that this was your post for today b/c a friend of mine just asked me how I feel about children cursing. My dad cursed like a sailor so whenever I used bad words, my parents really didn't flip out or anything. I mean, I wasn't running around using the F word but you know, some of the other words.

I'm guilty of cursing sometimes in front of my children. I pretend like they can't hear me but then I hear them repeating it and how can I be mad…I do it myself. So I just need to try harder to keep my mouth shut.

Although a few months ago, we were washing our cars in the driveway and the kids were running in the grass. I heard Bella say "oh no….some dog shit in our yard". My first reaction was to laugh…how horrible is that?? But there was just something so funny about her saying that. After I laughed, I said, "you know, poop is a more appropriate word".

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I agree with Val, that I think respect and actions are more important to teach and model. I've seen good churchgoing parents who aren't really very nice people make a big deal out of their kid's cursing like it's the absolute end of the world — kind of like the voodoo gods have been released, when maybe they should be a little more concerned about other psychopathic tendenciies and their own cold, empty hearts. II try to model cursing only when absolutely called for, such as an oh, sh** when I drop whats left of the wedding china or get a 2nd degree burn. I always apologize and say that just because I do something doesn't make it right!

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This takes me back. My then 3yo Caveman, The Dad and I went out to a nice lunch. The Dad and I are chatting over margaritas and the Caveman in busy with the puzzles on the kids menu. When suddenly the Caveman shouts BULLS***!!! Shocked and of course laughing my head off, I choke out "what?" The Caveman shoves the kids menu in my face (the poor kid was so pissed his face was red) and says "It's bulls*** Mom, those idiots want 5 but its 4, LOOK, LOOK!!" Yes, there was a typo on the answer key. Okay so version 1.0 of the language law was invented on the fly and I say quietly to him "Yes honey someone made a mistake and it's bulls*** but we don't use those words in public or with Grandma"

Version 2.0 came along when he decided that chanting cuss words (at home) for no real reason was funny. Okay so you can't use those words in public or with Grandma and you need to use it appropriately not randomly (unless it's appropriate like the hammer and thumb deal).

Version 3.0 came along when the Caveman called his sister a B**ch. Okay; a female dog in heat is b**ch not your sister and we do not call people names that their mothers did not give them. Yes even if they really are a moron. And I mean it or else!

There have been some challenges like when I explained to the Caveman as he cursed away while wrenching on his upside down Bat mobile that cursing was actually not necessary in order fix a car. Or when the kids got what all the bleeping was about on TV and so began the "you bleeping bleeper!" and "bleep you!" and every other combo until they were rolling on the floor. I can't tell you how hilarious a 9yo doing the bleep version of George Carlin's bit on how useful the F-word is, is. So I had to refer them back to rule 1.0 and explain the obvious that if they weren't fooled no one else would be, so no bleeping in public or with Grandma.

Overall it seems to be working, they have yet to be shunned by society, don't cuss or bleep in front of Grandma or in public (generally) and can use curse words appropriately and in complete sentences. If this is as good as it gets I'll take it.

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I'm a total sailor. Fed-ex the duct tape!

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Occasionally I let the expletives fly. I try to control myself for the most part around the younger kids, but the teenager gets an earful, since according to her she hears much worse at school.

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My step-brother likes to teach his nieces and nephews to say the word 'ship' while they're learning to speak. Something about accidental cussing that he finds hilarious.
I'm pretty good about remembering not to cuss out loud in front of the kids. Even when the teenager is trying my patience.

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Although I'm not known for a potty mouth, I often think of these words in stressful situations. I've called aggravating people the most foul things in my head. Sometimes I've been known to blurt out what I'm thinking….these kids are definitely wearing me down.

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