The Gene for Common Sense is on the X Chromosome

I can’t believe they got upset about that….you were being truthful, that’s for sure!! My husband does the same thing when he runs an errand for me. By the time I’ve gotten off the phone with him for the 4th time in 10 minutes, I figure it would’ve been easier for me to just do it myself. And maybe he actually is striving for that…

Helene’s last blog post..The children who wouldn’t go to bed….

Is this passive-aggressive behavior? I’m used to seeing it in my kids, but hubby doesn’t do passive-aggressive. I think he’s just clueless.

Marriage isn’t rosy all of the time, but the note from the Managing Editor makes it look like it’s their goal to show that it should be.

I guess if they don’t like humor at Blissfully Domestic, you’re better off without them.

Enjoy the rest of your vacation.

Linda’s last blog post..Finding More Fun, 3/12/09

Love this post. It certainly is true. Men just can’t seem to solve simple, common sense issues on their own. Funny stuff.

Are you trying to tell us that you don’t greet your hubs at the door with a drink after a hard day’s work…wearing a dress…and heels…and fresh make-up…with a 5 course dinner (all made from scratch) ready? How appalling.

amyd76’s last blog post..It’s March?

I thought the note from the managing editor made it look like it was their goal that I should be darning his socks and sitting at his feet, entranced. Ain’t gonna happen. As much as I love him, I’m not anyone’s slave. And I made the lawyers take out that damn (oops, there’s that nasty word again) “et ux” when we bought real estate. My name is as good as his.

Am I doing it wrong? After 25 years….

Hopefully you are doing it wrong! I mean come on – the ‘right way’ is getting us no where.

When i take precious time out of my day to read your articles AND comment on them it’s because you ring true with your sarcasm and humor and COMMON SENSE. You are fucking uplifting. You ARE encouraging.

Bunch of ass wipes. Blissfully medicated is where I’d have to be to live their ideal. Wait, are they offering that option?

AmyAnne’s last blog post..This Is What Parenting With Duct Tape Looks Like

And right on for pulling out and HIGH FIVE Cindi for backing you up and sticking to her ideals!

Right here are a couple of women who know how to back us, as women, up as whole – we need more of this!

AmyAnne’s last blog post..This Is What Parenting With Duct Tape Looks Like

I was laughing through each line of this post, thinking the story was great, so I was shocked to read the second part about it being taken down at Blissfully Domestic Wow, that never would have crossed my mind. I find it hard to believe the majority of women and wives would take this as profanity. Glad you have your own blog! By the way, thank you for your comment on my last post. I’m glad your first born ended up turning out well, haha, thanks for the smile!

Amy Anne, you made my day.

Do you mind if I send this to Cindi? I think it would make her day.

I am stupefied, liquified, ejectified. I cannot BELIEVE they took that post down. I’m with AmyAnne: better marriage through medication?

That’s what those Total Women at bliss whatever it is sound like. Umm, no thanks.

The Lawyer Mom’s last blog post..Nation of Suckers Sucklers

That note is ~ scary~ . It is reminiscent of those FLDS ladies. Are you sure you weren’t involved in a blog for one of those multiple wife cults?

Lilaphase’s last blog post..Where did the time go?

I didn’t think so at the time, but now that you mention it….

Seriously? Seriously!!?!?

How is this article any different than the many many many articles and posts that Alli (Mrs. Fussypants; who is the founder/owner and real decision maker of Blissfully Domestic) wrote for her “Gentle Art of Ruling Your Husband” site?

I hate directing traffic to her already-desperate-for-visitors-so-I’ll-do-anything-stupid site, but if you are interested in seeing the hypocrisy:
http://www.mrsfussypants.com/whatsmartmommiesknow/gentle_art_of_ruling_ones_husband/
(She had a site called “Marriage Hacks” that now directs you to Blissfully Domestic.)

Fake, fake and fake that owner of BD is.

She can use Katie as her pawn and she can even try to say that what you wrote was inappropriate, but we all know that she is the biggest inappropriate “christian” wife/mother/woman of them all.

She needs to get over herself already. If she had? Her ezine (YES I said ezine, I would HARDLY classify that cyber-hog as an online magazine) would be a success. As it is, it’s a sad, pathetic little blog that doesn’t even get as many hits as most mommy bloggers sites.

Pitiful.

And now the truth comes out. THANK YOU! Hypocrisy RULES!

Hypocrisy is one of the biggest sins. I guess it’s not listed in the top ten, but it should be. But if it were, I think the holier than thou people might be in trouble…

Wow. This just cements my already low opinion of Ms. White Trash Worthington.

Avitable’s last blog post..Miss Britt Goes To Prison: A Story

My jaw hit the floor when I read the “encouraging women to be better wives” line.

I can’t type anything else because I’m too busy shaking my head. In disgust.

AMomTwoBoys’s last blog post..SCARECROWS

“encouraging women to be better wives”???

I knew there was a reason why I never felt at home there. Because the only way I enjoy the 50’s “perfect wife” BS is in fiction. And I already have Mad Men for that.

Unbelievable.

Elisa’s last blog post..Watchmen against insomnia, 1-0

I only followed BD for a short time. It wasn’t long before something just didn’t sit right with me with many of the posts. I’m not even totally sure what it was. Haughtiness? Fluffiness? Too conservative?? While I was reading there, I was also following Fussy on Twitter, and I DO remember being surprised at the swearing and content of some of her tweets. Given the message you received from BD, it does seem pretty hypocritical.

And, this paragraph that you wrote:

WTF? (now, that’s profanity) I’ve been married for 25 years. But I do not define myself as a wife. I define myself as a woman who is married. And I believe strongly that the reason I am still married is because my husband has a sense of HUMOR. I have no interest in learning to be a “better wife,” nor in working with people who believe that women should BE “better wives.”

AMEN, sister! Thanks for summing it up so well.

PsychMamma’s last blog post..What Color Are YOUR Underwear?

This is my first visit to your site – I thought your post was very well written and pretty right on the money (with the exception of me – I am pretty confident I have a full subscription to Common Sense!). However, when one is graced with so much common sense, like me, its short term memory that suffers the most.

That said – your comment about “I do not define myself as a wife” sounded as if you consider the term “wife” an insult. I am probably wrong – but thats the way I read it.

Anyway – the response you received from Katie makes me believe she got a few emails from her whacked out “subservient wife” readers telling her how offended they are about this “husband bashing” post of yours, and like most spineless blog owners these days – she bowed to the lowest common denominator and removed your post!

I am now going to go and read more of your blog posts and probably have a good laugh or two. Thanks for this – wait, what was your post about again???

Forgetably,
Bill Brister (married man for almost 3 years, I think)

While I love to support other women dominating the web, I’ve shied away from the Bliss empire for this exact reason.

I don’t need to know how to be a better wife. The boys need to learn how to be better husbands.

Hang in there. You’re right and not alone in your feelings.

MammaLoves’s last blog post..I’m So Afraid

Can I shock and surprise you?

1. it’s a well written post
2. I blanch a little reading it
3. I understand why BD took it down
4. BD is easy to hate because they weren’t straightforward

I’m sure that a woman like you terrifies BD, heck , ya scare me.

Jessica Gottlieb’s last blog post..The Day She Tossed Derek Markham Under The Bus For Problogger

wow. how easy it’ll be to reduce my twitter noise by dropping domestic bliss- I didn’t realize it was all about turning into a stepford wife.

Amy’s last blog post..OH; (A outside) Stop! I don’t like that! (C-heading outside) he’s getting squirted. watch this: HEY EVERYONE!! SQUIRT ME!! (superman pose)

That was freakin’ hilarious! Why? Because it is TRUE. Last weekend, we were visiting my MIL who moved about a year ago. We’d only been to her house once before and it was right after she moved (she usu visits us)…We couldn’t find her address and were running late. My husband pulls of a map of her ENTIRE CITY and is trying to look for a street name that sounds familiar. Meanwhile I remember that she lives across the street from a winery. I pull up the winery site, grab the directions, and off we go. I mean SERIOUSLY. A map of the ENTIRE CITY?!

Are you married to my (sweet but no-common-sense-havin’) husband?

CityMama’s last blog post..Corned beef and cabbage

That is hysterical. I’m married with 4 sons. I’d say I’ve done the research and it’s right on target. Sorry the powers that be at Timeless Bliss have no sense of humor and an outdated sense of marriage.

heidi’s last blog post..My Name is Grace

It’s funny I have a draft e-mail in my inbox ready to go to BlissfullyDomestic for a contributing writer job. I hesitated to send it sicne the job is unpaid — at this point I really, really need to find a paying writing assignment. I will think twice about sending it.

I’m sorry you were jerked around. The ME’s note reminds me of those ridiculous ads from the 50s with the housewife waiting at the door with slippers and a pipe. Haven’t we moved on from those times??

Musings from Me’s last blog post..Twitter Leads to Missing Ring?

If it makes you feel any better I never heard of the site you mentioned until just now, and I will never read it now. So they lost a read they never even had.

That, is absurd.

jodifur’s last blog post..Dr. Seuss, I Blame You For This One

i think that the danger in Blissfully whatever the hell they are called is that in editing out the little imperfections and annoyances of our role as “wifeys” WT TRIPLE F is right, and only approving posts of happy go lucky, all is perfect in married land they then exclude those whose life and marriage isn’t all the time at every moment. This is my husband…I worship the ground he walks on, but yeah, he pisses me off some times with the lacking of the common sense. I think when women, of wifeys, or whatever read stuff like this it makes them feel like, “Oh, ok. My husband isn’t a loser, or idiot, or dunce and I am not a bitch for getting annoyed, because here is someone who I can relate to and who it happens to” and they can feel content and happy and brush it off. If all they read is how perfect everyone else’s partner is and how BLISSFUL everyone’s marriage and life is..well, that S=== is just depressing. (Enough profanity there? I tried.) lol!

NYCity Mama’s last blog post..A Return Home, Sunset Park, Brooklyn, NY

This is clearly a made-up story.

There is no married woman in the world who would answer “Who Cares?” to the questions posed over the phone.

The man is asking because the woman will DEFINITELY care about it when he gets back home with the WRONG kind of milk made by the WRONG maker bought at the WRONG store. He’ll probably get an earful of taking the WRONG route to the store and CAN’T HE TAKE OUT THE DAMN TRASH ON HIS WAY OUT?!?!?!? SHEEESH!

It’s called caution. It’s called experience. Some might call *that* common sense.

Oh wait a second. I’m male. Therefore I’m specially gifted to see things like this.

(hopefully the spirit of this comment is seen as same as in the post and gets a laugh instead of someone getting all huffy and puffy)

whall’s last blog post..Is it LIVE, or is it…

I am still stuck on the “encouraging women to be better wives”. Wait. Just a minute. Okay. Nope. Still stuck there….I will have to come back after I have absorbed that……

I thought it was hilarious and oh so true.
I love my fiancee, can’t imagine life without him, am excited to marry him- and I still need a sense of humor to deal with him.
And he DEFINITELY needs one to deal with me

Ariel’s last blog post..Kindergarten. Now comes with SWAG!

Sweet lord! I was going to write for Blissfully Domestic – and I backed out at the last minute. I am sooo glad I did now because I am the exact opposite of that little email you got.

Unbelievable they believe they are doing marriage a service with this kind of 19th century kind of thinking.

Sher’s last blog post..Vampira – Mistress of the long, long night.

Good for you, and you’re a better woman – not just wife – because of it.

Annie’s last blog post..Renouncing Catholicism

So the owner of BD who talks of donkey balls on Twitter and was said to have turned everything possible and not into sexual innuendo at the BlissDom conference is going to pull a post for profanity because of ”damn”?

The same woman who had a ”marriage site” called ”Let Him Keep His Testicles” is now worried about the image of a positive marriage posting?

The same woman who says ”Fake it till you make it” out of one side of her mouth (which I guess is what makes it acceptable to lie lie lie about the actual traffic to BD) and preaches being ”organic” and ”transparent” out of the other side of her mouth (which makes it acceptable for her to tell other people to be honest about their traffic and stats while she lies lies lies) is honestly getting her christian knickers knotted over a ”damn”?

The same woman who took it as a personal insult that people dared to even ask why women of color weren’t included on BD panels and who felt like she was above even discussing it is offended by a ”damn”?

The same woman with five kids but who is somehow online twenty hours a day (just follow ALL of her twitter names) yet feels the need to judge the parenting decisions of others? That is who is offended over ”damn”?

The same woman skewered for ”copying” other bloggers yet still made a ”fuss” over someone else on twitter using the name ”fussypants” gets upset over ”damn”? Really?

The same woman who poor mouths over not being ”able” to pay her writers but brags about traffic numbers and still pays $900 A MONTH for a vehicle (but her husband took a 50% pay cut), this is who gets upset over ”damn”?

The same woman who spams links to herself and her sites constantly on Twitter but had the GALL yesterday to lament missing how Twitter ”used to be before it was all advertising” can’t post a ”damn”? Just a note on the spam links, by the way, Worthington Wire is a hot mess and useless to anyone with access to Google or real news sites. Her contributions to Mother of all Conservatives seems to be silly lifted cartoons; way to walk the walk and talk the conservative talk when you cannot even string together a few sentences to back up your ”beliefs”. Obama is a bad and evil socialist but yet you have hundreds of women working for free with only the lure of ”linkbacks” made to sound lucrative due to again lies lies and damn lies about traffic and success.

Hypocrisy, thy name is Allison Worthington.

(And yes I know when the defenders show up they will discount everything I have said because it’s ”anon” and that’s fine with me. I know the truth and if they continue to work with her and support her they will know too soon enough.)

Yeah, I resigned a while ago, was an original contributor and then they just got too big (and too Christian COnservative) for my britches.

Adrienne’s last blog post..Sigh

HILARIOUS post! Dude. My husband ALWAYS calls at least 5 times every time he goes to the store. I’ve learned to find the phone before he leaves…

And kudos to you for standing up for yourself and to Cindi for following suit. Writing for a collaborative blog/eZine makes no sense if you’re doing it at the detriment of your own ideals and ideas.

Marriage isn’t always rosy and pretty and laughing about it makes it much more fun.

Jessica (from It’s my life…)’s last blog post..Time flies way too fast ’round these parts

You know that post *is* funny. Much like I would write on my personal blog. I am so sorry that this has happened.

As for Blissfully Domestic, the goal is to post articles that aren’t considered “eye-brow lifting” or controversial. Many a funny article has been turned down because we would get lots of readers who would be offended. That is why there is no politics or news on the site.

I am the owner of Blissfully Domestic, but I do not handle daily operations. My role is promotion. I’m not a details gal.

After speaking with the Managing Editor, she in no way meant we wanted to promote women ’serving’ their husbands but rather the concept of being a good partner. Her issue was that we wouldn’t publish a post by a husband that poked fun at a his wife, and in fairness couldn’t publish the opposite. Also, the no cursing rule is something we’ve always maintained, there’s enough of it going on out there but we like to keep a clean ‘house’ here.

I am sorry that wasn’t conveyed better.

As for commenter who called me a hypocrite? I totally agree. I am. I’ve been calling myself that for years. But I do the best I can, I make mistakes and I apologize when feelings are hurt. I *try* to do the best I can and never want anyone to be hurt by any site I own. That was the whole reason for the no “hot button” post rule. Yikes.

Again, I am sorry. We kinda sucked in handling this and hope you can forgive us.

xo, Alli

Allison Worthington’s last blog post..Not Really Wordless Wednesday- The Impossible Charitable Anthropist

I always thought “Blissfully Domestic” was an oxymoron anyway, emphasis on moron. Damn.

I came from a tweet from Maria. “Help women be better wives”? WTF? I’m not even married and that offends me. They didn’t say ‘help women be better people, they said BETTER WIVES?

Jennifer’s last blog post..Bullet points- things on thy mind.

I wondered here from following some rabbit trail from whoknowswhere… but just had to say: HEY! this was very funny. I can relate on the flipside – my hubby and I are role-reversed. Just this morning I called HIM from Fleet Farm “where is the parakeet food?” him: “where are you standing?” me:”by the outdoor bird food.” him: “wrong spot, go by the dog food, stand facing the doors, go to the aisle to the right, half-way down, it should be there.” Yes, it was – thanks hubby!

On the other hand he can’t remember that we stood FACING the congregation at our wedding.

My friends describe husbands like you’ve described. Really I think they’re just clueless – like mine is on other things.

Thanks for the laugh- and I think I’ll continue the rabbit trail to Blissfully domestic and see what their beef is

You’re always welcome at Bad Mommy Blogger

jennydecki’s last blog post..Blissful Backlash

No, I do not consider “wife” as an insult. I simply do not define myself that way. And after 25 years of marriage, I really don’t see the point in trying to be “better” at it.

My hubby thinks it’s funny. That’s what I do. Funny. I write about the kids, the hubby, the neighbors, the women in the carpool line. But I never write ANYTHING that I wouldn’t want them to read.

Hubby’s heard this line a thousand times. He’s willing to admit that there are sex differences, just as I am. I don’t really consider it “bashing.” But I really don’t think that I should have been writing for BD, anyway, so it’s okay.

I think we all are. Honestly.

I have. My hubby has (or we wouldn’t have made it 25 years). But obviously not everyone!

Wow. A great perspective. I should have thought of that…

YES. That’s exactly why “mommy blogs” are so popular. It gives us all a chance to see other imperfect parents at work. It makes us feel as though we aren’t screwing up quite so badly, ourselves.

And yes. I have counseled many a young wife who had visions of romance and candlelight and roses, and THEN discovered it wasn’t like that. There’s chores and kids and disagreement. We need to pierce the veil of the “perfect wife.” THERE IS NO SUCH THING, just as there is no such thing as a perfect husband.

Let us all enjoy each others’ foibles.

Kudos to you for being yourself! I didn’t read the article, but can tell from your writing that it was probably pretty good (plus I’m a sucker for sarcasm).

It doesn’t surprise me, what happened over there. Once upon a time I was invited to join that “Gentle Art of Ruling your Husband” group and I was like “oh fun!” Thought the title was supposed to be funny but quickly learned that the mentality of members was, well, a little old fashioned for me. Whenever I started a topic, I was greeted with the kind of thinking I’d only read about in books. I guess up here in the North, we’re just too liberal and open-minded! I’m not sure if my threads there still even exist, or my profile, but it was interesting.

That’s not to say that each one of them was a conservative fuddy duddy, I did find some great blog buddies there, but a lot of them were so tradisional and “thou shalt worship the ground thy husband walks on” that I just could not stomach it any longer!

Carrie’s last blog post..The Shedding Season

This is clearly a made-up comment. Men simply don’t express themselves so articulately, nor do they do sarcasm quite so well.

I was rolling by the third line.

It’s a women’s site. No one would expect to be allowed a rebuttal. And, as I have pointed out often, I don’t consider this bashing. It’s fun-poking. My husband thinks it’s funny. My rule is that I would never write anything that I don’t want my hubby or kids to read. They know where my site is. They can keep track.

My feelings WERE NOT hurt. I don’t care enough. I was, however, horrified to find that I had been writing for a magazine with such appalling values. I did it for Cindi. As I said in my email, my mistake was in not double checking the ideology behind the organization when I started.

I am a professional. I am a women’s libber. I have NO intention of being, attempting to be, or encouraging others to be “better wives.” THAT’s where you lost me.

And now I cant’ even locate that old site – it only links back to Blissfully Domestic.

Does anyone know where it went?

Carrie’s last blog post..The Shedding Season

Of course she raced over here and tried to put out fires and put herself down and be all humble and apologetic.

“Let me put myself down and act like I’m totally stupid, but really it’s just another detail in making myself more of a rock star. That’ll continue to fool people and keep them fawning all over me.”

She obviously hasn’t read the comments above hers (or after) to see what people really think.

And to “Anon For This”: High Five! you nailed it.

I Am Women, Hear Me Roar!

I came of age in the late 1960s and early 1970s, and consequently, therefore have experienced many events that have shaped my personal beliefs. Like feminism; glass ceilings; times when a woman’s income wouldn’t even count towards a mortgage.

I don’t define myself either as just a “wife”.

I have been married for 35 years. My husband & I work as a “team” and have raised 2 college-educated, well-adjusted daughters. I have a charming son-in-law that my daughter met at college; and 2 beautiful grandchildren.

Yes, you have to have “humor” to get through it all.

I recruited and supported my Contributors because thought they were extremely talented, knowledgable individuals.

After reading the “after-the-fact” editorial policy (news to me), I went down with the ship.

I Am Woman, Hear Me Roar

Cindi’s last blog post..Literature 101 Revisited Through the Eyes of a Boomer

Who is Allison Worthington?

A fake name for a fake person, seems about right.

Cindi–If you have had time to read the comments, you have been given many lovely and supportive remarks.

I’ll plight my trough with you any day. You’re a real person. The kind we all need in our lives.

Thanks for everything. Maybe we can work together again sometime.

I think it’s pretty sad the amount of hate that’s being expressed here – and the other party even apologized. The reaction seems disproportionate and exponentially worse than the original offense. Unreal.

Dana’s last blog post..How we deal with bullies

OMG – I was wondering what the story was with Cindi stepping down and who/what the post was that facilitated the controversy. I’m sorry, but the response is reminiscent of “The Total Woman” by Marabel Morgan (showing my age and my distaste). I for one will not continue to write any more posts for BD.

Zipporah Sandler’s last blog post..While we’re on the subject of beauty -

As a man, can I just say “guilty as charged”? Useless as a chocolate teapot.

I’m surprised how many comments I had to read before I found the word “Stepford”.

*applauds*

Mr Farty’s last blog post..Computer Terms Illustrated #24

HOORAY FOR YOU. Was wondering what happened. YAY for you for doing what you did. OK…I’m out. I support you 100%.

TheDailyBLonde’s last blog post..The Luck of the Irish?

Cindi, I didn’t have the time to read all of the comments or even understand what all the controversy is about. I will say that I have enjoyed being a contributor and think that you selected a great group of women to be part of Timeless Bliss. Thank you for the opportunity. I appreciate you.

Allison Worthington just tried to leave a comment on my blog. It won’t be going through and here’s why:

It was a ridiculous plea for pity. SRSLY Alli grow up.

TheMother made a RELEVANT comment on my blog this morning about my basement steps.

Get over it already Alli. You, always made fun of me for blog reading and now you FINALLY “grace my blog with your presence” only to whimper? No thanks.

Darla’s last blog post..Finishing basement steps on a dime

Re-read all of the comments. Amazing. I didn’t belong there because my life is not always blissful (but I love it) and I want to talk and write about whatever I want.

Such is why I could rarely come up with a post. Too much work to “not” be myself. WHO wants to read about “Pleasantville” anyway?

TheDailyBLonde’s last blog post..The Luck of the Irish?

Yes, Mother, I’ve read all the comments before I posted and I thank everyone for their support in my decision.

Just for clarification, here’s the exact email I received, which I (thankfully) forwarded a copy to myself:

“HI Cindi,

I just wanted to let you know the post named above was unpublished. We would strongly prefer not using curse words of any sort in posts, also posts that disparage men and husbands do not encourage women to be better wives or strengthen marriages and we would rather not publish those types of posts.

Thanks,

Katie”

Cindi’s last blog post..Celebrate Saint Patrick’s Day With Celtic Music and Irish Jig Dancing!

Wow, so comments pointing out that your reaction is disproportionate to the offense are deleted.

I’ll repeat because I know you read it:

Wednesday, 18th March 2009 at 4:42 pm

I think it’s pretty sad the amount of hate that’s being expressed here – and the other party even apologized. The reaction seems disproportionate and exponentially worse than the original offense. Unreal.

Dana’s last blog post..How we deal with bullies

Damn, that is so wrong.

I am sorry. Good for you for jumping ship.

Momisodes’s last blog post..She’s Baaaaaack

Ah, now I see it. I apologize for assuming that it was deleted but I think you owe those women an apology for this ridiculousness. Seriously. It’s sad that anyone would tear anyone else down to this extent and it would be nice to see everyone get along.

Dana’s last blog post..How we deal with bullies

I got hooked up with BD in the beginning and quickly jumped ship after seeing all the promises of money and realizing that those promises were never going to be met.

The site was amateur hour when I was there…constantly going down with the explanation being that it was all the “traffic” that “crashed” the site. Yet for all the “traffic”, the comments were non-existant. This was brushed off as “oh – online magazines don’t get that many comments” (umm – yes – they DO if they are any good)

The constant Twittering, the obvious desperation…

I had this chick figured out quick…before I got too invested in her or her site.

Then I started hearing rumblings of people who had been screwed over and written off. And I just kept waiting for people to speak up! I knew the story…I could see it coming. But since it didn’t happen to me and I didn’t have the first-hand source information, there was nothing for me but to sit back and wait for SOMEONE to say something.

And the chickens are finally coming home to roost….

I have been wondering if I should leave them also. After reading this post and their reaction, I totally must leave blissfully domestic. I thought they wanted real people. Timeless Bliss were to be mentors. Mentors tell it like it is and also tell what is important and what isn’t. To me, a post like this should tell a young wife that you get irritated with your hubby once in a while, but that doesn’t define the marriage. And that just because we are women doesn’t mean we have to be subservient. We are people with value.
Keep telling it like it is with humor. And kudos for the loving relationship you have with your hubby.

Joy OHare’s last blog post..Rants and Raves about Dieting

The reaction so far hasn’t been hateful. It’s been realistic. When people espouse values, and are willing to hold others to them, without upholding them themselves, they elicit this kind of reaction. I’m sorry if it’s made you feel uncomfortable.

Thanks, Cheryl, that means a lot to me. Love your blog and really appreciate you as a person. Boobygate included.

Dana: I don’t believe in censorship, and I have not deleted your post. As I made clear in the original post (and a week earlier) I AM ON VACATION.

I have family in from Canada, and we’ve been sightseeing, I have made it to my computer twice today, and published the posts that were available. I got to yours about 20 minutes ago, which I immediately published, along with a rebuttal (see below).

NEVER, EVER will a post be censored on this blog, unless you’re trying to sell me male enhancement products, quick weight loss schemes, or a time share in Tahiti. (and that’s just because I refuse to verify their tactics)

Alli Worthington’s post came through before I left my computer at 5. It was here. You just had to look, before “knee-jerking” that you had been censored for disagreeing.

Mother, as you know, I sent you a copy of my resignation letter.

But for the benefit of your readers, and for good measure, here’s a portion of my resignation letter to BD:

” … I am submitting my resignation as Editor of the Timeless Bliss channel at Blissfully Domestic, effective immediately.

My decision was based on several factors.

I am a baby boomer who came of age during the late 1960s and early 1970s. I am a native New Englander, and attended college at an all-woman’s liberal art college in Massachusetts. Because of my experiences, I feel that there exists a conflict on my interpretation of acceptable posts on behalf of the contributor’s I have recruited and the mission statement of Blissfully Domestic.

Thank you for the opportunity, but I just don’t think this is a good fit.”

Cindi’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday ~ Winter on the Connecticut River

Excuse me. This is my blog. I published the truth. Including VERBATIM the email I received. I did not make PERSONAL attacks. I just made it clear that I did not agree with the ideology. And that the ideology was clearly ridiculous in this day and age. Feel free to take offense. But truth is in my court.The commentators, I have no control over. I don’t believe in censorship, remember????

[...] The Gene For Common Sense is on the X Chromosome [...]

I have to say that it’s hilarious that Worthington’s response to this is not an apology, but just letting everyone know that it’s not her. She just threw everyone who works for her under the bus so that she could pretend like she’s oblivious to the editorial policies of her own company? So is it poor management or just poor policy?

Avitable’s last blog post..Avitable helps the ladies of Cosmo

It got really quiet here. Or are comments still in moderation?

As someone else who was totally used by Allison Worthington (fake last name) I can say that anon #1 was spot on. So many lies, so much bullshit, so much pathetic behavior. I am but one of many who feel this way, and I’m glad to see that some of this crappy behavior is being brought to light. Kuddos to you!

How was it determined that to Blissfully Domestic was not “real”? They have a decent alexa ranking, no?

abdpbt’s last blog post..On Not Having Writer’s Block, Oprah, Boobs, And A Bunch Of Other Sundry Crap

It’s hard for me to comment judge on the specifics of this situation because I’m so outside of what all happened. As a business person, I feel a business owner is entitled to run their company (or blog) anyway they like–and suffer or enjoy the results accordingly.

Employees (or volunteer writers) are at liberty to work (write) or not as they choose. It appears the parties involved–whether they agree with each other or not–handled the dissolution of the relationship fairly reasonably. At least, until comments by outsiders may escalate the situation.

What does perturb me is the assumption by commenters (generically because I haven’t followed the TB/DB posts to know their ideology) is that “to become better wives” necessarily means “to become subservient and without self-identity” etc.

Since our society has not yet come up with a gender neutral term for “one who is in a marriage/life partnership relationship”, I feel that to become a “better wife” means the same thing as to become a “better husband”–ie, become a better “life partner.” I see nothing wrong with that because I don’t assume it means becoming a throwback to “Donna Reed” and “Father Knows Best.”

It takes a lot of work and effort to make a marriage strong, to weather the ups and downs. it works better when both partners work to become better “husbands” or “wives.”

It includes being able to laugh when you recognize you are having argument #17B for the 14,987th time. And it may mean that on any given day one makes those 4 phone calls to make sure one is getting the right item at the store or greets the other at the door with the slippers and 5-course meal regardless of which (gendered) partner is doing it.

As I keep pointing out, I AM ON VACATION. I got to today’s posts at 11pm.

No question, a business owner has the right to run their business as they choose. It would seem sensible, then, to inform their editors and contributors about the rules in advance. Which they didn’t, which is what makes this censorship.

And, yes, the phrase “better wife” brings up images of subservient wives. I have run that line by a number of males of my acquaintance in the last few days. They howl with laughter at the thought. But, then, I travel in circles that tend to involve enlightened women (and their mates).

Yes, I agree with you that the rules should be clear upfront.

It’s just sad that our language has not evolved with our culture with respect to understanding what makes a “better mate.” (Or perhaps, sad that our culture has not evolved as much as we would like to think…)

Actually, we DO have a gender-neutral word. It’s “spouse.” It is rarely used. But perhaps we should start.

Maybe it’s the “better” part of that phrase that rankles so much. It seems to imply, by comparison, inadequacy. Not that any of us are unwilling to admit that we are frequently inadequate at spousing (see- I’m trying), or motherhood. Just that I can’t imagine it being used the other way.

My husband would greet any comment that he should be a “better” husband with the scorn it deserves. We female spouses just think we should be allowed the same reaction.

Honestly, the idea of being a better wife doesn’t bother me. I think we should all strive to be better at whatever it is we do – whether it’s parenting (we wouldn’t fault someone for wanting to be a “better parent” would we?), our career, taking care of ourselves.
But after reading your post and reading through the comments, what I take issue with, is the blatant hypocrisy of their site.
Why should I waste my time on something that the owner doesn’t even adhere to? She admitted herself that this was something she would post on her own blog, AND she’d get a big laugh out of it.
Businesses think that they can manipulate people. And after reading this, I couldn’t believe anything written on that site. The contributors might spend hours writing a worthwhile post. And for what? So the higher ups can pretend like they are encouraging the world to be a better place?
All businesses strive to make money, of course. But when I find out the truth about the people behind it, if it’s not inline with what they are trying to sell me, then I call bullcrap.
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice? Then I’m a sucker.
In reality, anyone who reads that site is being manipulated by the owner’s chase of money. (or something other than what they say). Would someone continue supporting PETA if they found out that all of the higher ups had fur coats and alligator shoes in their closest?
That’s what I thought.

Wow, well worth the rant and outing about what they are about. WTF is certainly in order!

Angela at mommy bytes’s last blog post..Welcome to the Ultimate Blog Party at mommy bytes!

I just had to add that BD encourages women to be better wives? And better wives (and husbands) last longer (I’m thirty years married) when they can laugh and poke fun of each other. Humor is key.

Also, why doesn’t BD encourage women to be supportive of other women with direct honesty and not passive aggressive behavior (damn? seriously?) They just didn’t like the piece.

And as for Mrs. Fussypants, why doesn’t she show a little more support for her fellow women. I find her fashion section where she makes fun of women’s clothing, fat asses, bad hair profane and offensive.

Now that I know this I also am going to quit as a contributor to Timeless Bliss myself. When I saw that the overall name was Blissfully Domestic, I did hesitate, because domestic is the last thing I am, but stupidly I looked the other way. Just wish I didn’t just add Timeless Bliss to the back of the new business cards that I just had made up.

Connect with your Teens’s last blog post..Twitter Power: Book for beginners through Advanced

Allison’s Empire seems to be crumbling by the second….

~shrug~

That didn’t take long.

I’m here via Cindi’s site & just want to say wow…

But kudos to you both for sticking up for each other. That’s how to be a better friend.

The only thing worse than having no common sense is having no sense of humor! And sanctimonious people who have to take the fun out of everything.
I hope I don’t upset your commentors by saying that despite being a conservative and a Christian appreciate your perspective, humor and experience.We get along like peas and carrots. Guess I just wanted to remind them that BD may be conservative in nature, but they took your post down because they are jerks, assholes, whatever you want to call them. I think they don’t know how to handle women just being real.

the Mayor’s last blog post..Pick Up Line

Mother, you’ve obviously touched a nerve here. I guess a lot of people have been messed with by that site.

And giving all of that content for free? OMG! Surely these women realize that what they are offering is worth more than a linkback!

I bet there are a lot of people who wish they had known this information sooner.

Consider this a Public Service Announcement people. Spread the word.

dang – wasn’t clear:
all of the WRITERS are giving away their writing/content for free for a linkback.

Is this like a free full-time job?

I used to write for Blissfully Domestic.

The sad thing is that all of the editors have bought into it wholeheartedly and I know they put a crazy load of time into it. They swoon over how brilliant, smart and awesome Allison is. The public goes crazy over how she manages to juggle it all. I think the only thing brilliant she has done is convincing women to give all of their quality writing to her for free.

There are plenty of REAL sites that really do help and encourage women. I’ll support those.

Still checking back on this post ~ I’m amazed it’s probably generated more comments than any such post would have on BD.

I take exception with “Another Former Writer”. While I partially agree with her comment that the Editors ‘bought into it’ (hey, it sounded like a good idea at the time if one wasn’t all that familiar with the site), I do NOT agree with the comment that they ’swoon’ over said Owner of the site being ‘brilliant, awsome’ & otherwise. Not True. I’m sure not all editors feel that way. And it didn’t take THIS former Editor long to figure out the smoke & mirrors of the whole scene. My only regret is that I dragged so many otherwise, good & unsuspecting fellow bloggers into this rat’s nest.

Cindi’s last blog post..How to Lift Your Spirits in Spring: Get a Makeover And a Face Lift!

Still checking back on this post ~ I’m amazed it’s probably generated more comments than any such post would have on BD.

I take exception with “Another Former Writer”. While I partially agree with her comment that the Editors ‘bought into it’ (hey, it sounded like a good idea at the time if one wasn’t all that familiar with the site), I do NOT agree with the comment that they ’swoon’ over said Owner of the site being ‘brilliant, awsome’ & otherwise. Not True. I’m sure not all editors feel that way. And it didn’t take THIS former Editor long to figure out the smoke & mirrors of the whole scene. My only regret is that I dragged so many otherwise, good & unsuspecting fellow bloggers into this rat’s nest.

Cindi’s last blog post..Double Double Toil and Trouble: DIY Eco-Friendly Household Cleaners

Funny — I would think that in being a feminist you would be progressive enough in your thinking to not automatically assume that the term ‘better wife’ means you are being sublimated as a woman.

Maybe if the term ‘better spouse’ had been utilized so many of you wouldn’t have your asses up around your shoulders. I want to be the best spouse I can be to my husband, and I have been made abundantly aware over the course of our fifteen-year relationship that he desires to be the best spouse he can be to me, as well. It just so happens that the title of my spousely role is ‘wife’ and I reckon I’m secure enough as a woman to not be offended that someone would utilize the title aptly. I am a *wife* to my *husband*. Why are you guys trying to make the word wife one of no value? To me that runs at direct counter to your core argument.

That e-mail could’ve been worded better, sure, but the shrill tone being set here leaves a particularly bad taste in my mouth.

Aaaaaand, to imply that just because someone doesn’t share your point of view or belief system they are not ‘enlightened’ is really fucking tacky. Not to mention you are pot-kettling: The whole point of your screed here was that you were put off by someone rebuffing you because they believe in a manner inconsistent with your chosen expressions on a topic. Which you were insulted by. And now you’re being exclusionary and insulting.

*sigh*

You know what I want? I want women at both extremes of belief to stop posturing themselves as spokespersons For All Womankind. I have a voice of my own, thanks very much, and will use it if need be.

Funny–the most vituperative comment yet received was from someone trying to tell us to all get along.

I don’t know if anyone is even reading this thread anymore, but I came across this post and wanted to respond to several things from the above comments. The thought of letting them stand on their own makes my stomach turn.
(sorry, in advance, for writing a book, Mother)

=====ALLI WROTE:======
“I am the owner of Blissfully Domestic, but I do not handle daily operations. My role is promotion. I’m not a details gal. ”

===MY REPLY===
She has always told editors to consider ANYTHING that comes from the managers mouth to be considered as the same as her having said it. Apparently, this only goes for when it makes her look good.

Her ‘promoting’ includes constant annoying Tweets. She can’t handle that AND overseeing her “company”? She spends her days trying to find out how to pull in more people to do her work. She has a person she has wrangled into doing her web site for practically nothing, she has someone who co-hosts her conference (though she calls herself THE Host) It would have been a total mess of a conference if it had been left to her. It was the other person who did absolutely all of the conference planning and paid for it.

___________________________

=====ALLI WROTE:======
” Also, the no cursing rule is something we’ve always maintained, there’s enough of it going on out there but we like to keep a clean ‘house’ here.”

===MY REPLY===
She just saves all of her cussing for group chats. She did it on twitter too until she started trying to make nice with some of the authentic Christian bloggers. Then she decided to tone it down for the public. She’ll do anything to get in nice with you. Talk trash with you, if that is how you roll. Talk pious and saintly, if that is how you roll. She is attention starved and is willing to fit herself into any mold to get yours.

_____________________________

=====ALLI WROTE:======
” As for commenter who called me a hypocrite? I totally agree. I am. I’ve been calling myself that for years. But I do the best I can, I make mistakes and I apologize when feelings are hurt. I *try* to do the best I can and never want anyone to be hurt by any site I own. That was the whole reason for the no “hot button” post rule. Yikes.”

===MY REPLY===
Really? The best she can do is steal ideas from people? The best she can do is to surround herself with the very people she bad mouths behind their back so that they don’t do any better than her? (that is a paraphrase from her; one of her “secrets to success”) That is trying her best not to hurt people?
Almost everyone she is “friends” with, she has badmouthed and talked about in a cruel way: ie – they suck, they are boring, they are too goodygoody etc… Then when she sees them getting more popular and bigger than her, she turns on the flattery and charm. If she can use you, she will. If it’s coming out of her mouth or she is writing it on her blog, it’s because it can benefit HER. It’s not about her wanting to help promote other moms (like she says) It’s about HERSELF and what she can get out of it. PERIOD.

___________________________

=====Dana WROTE:======
” I think it’s pretty sad the amount of hate that’s being expressed here – and the other party even apologized. The reaction seems disproportionate and exponentially worse than the original offense. Unreal. ”

===MY REPLY===
Apparently, the offense goes deeper than what was listed in the post. People have been SCREWED by her. People have given up months and months and months of their lives to ‘be employed by’ her. In the end, she screwed them over.

_____________________________

=====Dana WROTE:======
” I think you owe those women an apology for this ridiculousness. Seriously. It’s sad that anyone would tear anyone else down to this extent and it would be nice to see everyone get along. ”

===MY REPLY===
Pointing out the truth so that others can steer clear of falling victim to her crap and lies is not tearing someone down. Just because YOU haven’t experienced it first hand doesn’t make it any less true.

______________________________

=======abdpbt asked:=======

” How was it determined that to Blissfully Domestic was not “real”? They have a decent alexa ranking, no? ”

===MY REPLY===
Editors have consistently been told to “inflate numbers” – pump them up to look bigger and more impressive.

____________________________

========Flowersbyfarha said:=======
” Employees (or volunteer writers) are at liberty to work (write) or not as they choose. It appears the parties involved–whether they agree with each other or not–handled the dissolution of the relationship fairly reasonably. At least, until comments by outsiders may escalate the situation. ”

===MY REPLY===
The comments didn’t escalated the situation – the situation was already a mess. Most of the comments you mean were by people who were NOT outsiders to Blissfully Domestic. Mother’s post allowed people to vocalize their experiences as well. This obviously was not an isolated incident. People have been made false promises, and strung along for months. And months. And months. PEOPLE DON’T APPRECIATE BEING MANIPULATED. Eventually, they’ll call you on it. That is what is going on in comments. It’s unfortunate that only the people that read this site will find out the truth.

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