Corporeal Punishment? Is that a Yes/No Question?

stocksshtLast week, I received a Twitter from MemoirGirl at I Am No Expert, telling me that she agreed with my rules for raising an irresponsible child, but she added that she didn’t do corporeal punishment.

Which made me think:

I haven’t discussed corporeal punishment.

In my effort to make this Handbook completely authoritative— the supreme authority at hand to immediately confirm any mother’s suspicion that she’s DOING IT WRONG—I will now expound on this sensitive area.

By  now, you all know that I’m a firm believer in Draconian punishment. The  bigger the crime, the worse the punishment should be.

I have, over the years, forced my children to:

Wash windows.

Dig holes (and fill them back up).

Mow the lawn.

Clean the house.

Live without tv, computer, video games (basically, any entertainment besides books) for a month.

Live without a door.

Sleep outside.

Eat outside.

I have grounded them for life, sent them to their rooms for life, and stolen the power cords to their computers, game consoles and cell phones.

But I have never really used spanking as a form of punishment, because:

1. It’s too quick. Once it’s over, the punishment is over.

2. It hurts my hand, and I never wear a belt.

3. Psychological torture is just SO much more effective.

So, for me, at least, creative punishment is the preferred method of dealing with nearly everything a child does wrong.

That said, sometimes a good, swift swat on the arse is very useful to grab a kid’s attention, especially when he’s in a snit.

(Note: probably not a good idea to do this in front of the floor to ceiling windows in the entryway, when the mailman is walking up to deliver a package. I waited for CPS to call for a whole week.)

And then there was the time when I dumped a cup of ice water on the Grouch. In full view of the entire tennis club.

He was throwing a tantrum. It was 140 degrees. I was pregnant. Enough said.

And he stopped screaming, and toddled to the car like a good little boy.

Sometimes, you just have to get their attention.

(Disclaimer: Don’t try the ice water thing unless you have the constitution to back it up. I STILL hear about it, apocryphally—”You won’t believe this, but one time a woman…)

I’m guessing I’m not the only mom out there with creative strategies. Share. Please.

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Related posts:

  1. If I Hadn’t Spanked my Kids, They Might be Geniuses
  2. To Health Food, or Not to Health Food…That is the Question
  3. The “Now, Johnny” Syndrome
  4. Top Five Ways to Stop a Tantrum
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1,156 Comments

I am guilty of a few of those…I once threw a bag of powder donuts at my oldest son…by god his butt went out the door and got on the school bus…at twenty he still brings it up but he is laughing about it!

Laura’s last blog post..Fake Out – Not This Time

Kids never let you forget…

I tried corporal punishment and it did not work. At all. A work-out buddy suggested “Love and Logic” and let me tell you, it WORKS. I cannot say enough about it. It’s wonderful. And I am not a big endorser.

The Lawyer Mom’s last blog post..Kindergartners on the Road to Damascus

I hadn’t heard of that one. I’ll look it up. I’m always on the lookout for creative ways to screw up my kids’ lives.

Great post, you had me laughing from beginning to end. I love the “dig holes (and fill them back up)” thing. I need to try that, but my boys are still at the age where they’d probably love it. How do you keep CPS from visiting about making them sleep outside? I let the boys sleep in a tent in the backyard last summer, and I was half afraid CPS would come by just because of that. I guess I’m paranoid.

Anyway, thanks for commenting on my blog…I’m glad I’ve discovered yours now. I like your humor. :)

Cindy’s last blog post..Opportunities Abound

We’re not a spanking family and for the most part the kids have been good. Liittle things here and there. Our two oldest daughters used to fight and argue all the time. I would put them in time out on the hope chest together while they were still mad at eachother and they had to sit there until they stopped fighting and got along. They still talk about that one.

Elle’s last blog post..Aloha Friday “How Rude!”

I’ve said it before, but here I go again: My kids have CPS on speed dial.

They remember the good ones. That’s why psychological torture is SO much more effective.

I’ve had a few memorable moments over the past 28 years. After wearing me out with their arguing one day, I put two kids out on the porch in their pj’s and locked the door.(It was probably only in the 40’s out) I told them very calmly they could come back in when they could get along. Took about 8 minutes.
Lately, I’ve been using technology. Sometimes I remind them to use good judgement. I have been known to send texts like: “your ass is grass and I’m going to mow it when You get home!”

the Mayor’s last blog post..Is It All About Status?

My kids are constantly having their electronics taken away. Sometimes I forget who got what taken for how long and have to just make something up.

Lilaphase’s last blog post..Kids raising kids

I love the digging holes. I will DEFINITELY try that. I couldn’t agree more with kids needing a swift swat to get their attention. For the most part, we try and explain to the kiddo why she is being punished or is in trouble. We’re finally at the stage where removing or taking away electronics or coveted toys can be effective :)

Momisodes’s last blog post..Blame it on my…maturity

I agree with the good swift thwack to the slats every so often, to be employed when your little shnookie-pie is acting completely out of line. We do spank, but the child has to have been put in “the corner” three times. It is more of a scare tactic than anything & we’ve only had to dole out a few.

Speaking of fear, though, I believe fear to be very beneficial, but you have to start early – when they’re actually afraid of you. My husband and I utilize the big booming voice when the girls go to the corner. We are heavy with the affection and love all the time, so we are very comfortable scaring them when they do wrong. We also explain very clearly what they did wrong and WHY it was wrong. When they calm down, that is.

I think if you spend too much time “talking” and “reasoning” with your child when they are at that black and white stage of good vs evil, you only teach them how to manipulate you and stall for time.

But that’s just me. I’m not wasting time negotiating with a four year old. I have way too much to do in a day.

Liz’s last blog post..EAT ME – PART TWO:

My parents used tough corporeal punishment including slaps to the face and branches. I find that it just made me angry towards them without making me think of the why I got the punishment.

I chose to try and avoid corporeal punishment with my sons (although I have a few times given my son a small slap on the arse). I like the taking things away form of discipline which has been working with my son.

Thanks for visiting my site.

Maria@Conversations with Moms’s last blog post..Sunday Joke Time

Reasoning with a four-year-old? Can’t be done.

My kids were smart. They knew, at an early age, enough logic to be dangerous. Not enough to actually win an argument, against an adult anyway, but enough to be ABSOLUTELY CONVINCED they were right. So the discussions ran around in circles.

I agree with you. I don’t think it’s wrong to scare the pants off your kids once in a while.

BTW: the commandment that Christians translate as “honor thy parents?” actually translates, in the original Hebrew, to “fear thy parents.” Probably because it was okay to stone a disobedient child. Literal translations are interesting, aren’t they?

I think a lot like you…kind of scary really.

The cold shower is my toddler tool of choice. Endless fits bore me so I throw them in the cold shower clothes and all to shock them out of whatever snit they are in.
I have also been known to torture my kids by:
- making them move the pile of bricks that used to be our fireplace in 10 ft increments around the perimeter of our 1/4 acre back yard
- yes, dig holes and fill them back up
- pick up rotten peaches from under the huge 40 year old peach tree, with their hands
- weed in the blazing sun
- scoop other people’s dog poop
- scrub base boards with toothbrushes

You get the picture. I actually had a friend call up the other day asking if almost 10 y/o had gotten in trouble lately because his weeds were out of control.

I spank also but only for the shock or snap out of it value, not punishment. I also prefer to have my punishments or consequences be of lasting psychological torture. And I promote physical fitness whenever I can.

I don’t know who said it but I often spout the quote “Fear is a legitimate form of communication.”

AmyAnne’s last blog post..Heels

My best friend is all about creative punishments. One time the kids “forgot” to tell her they’d lost something and were searching for it instead of coming as called. They were assigned the task of standing in the rocking chair position for two minutes. Of course, she “forgot” to tell them the two minutes were up for another minute or so. She then explained the physical pain they felt was similar to the pain they caused her when they misbehaved.

Hmmm , some interesting ideas here. The digging holes would be a treat for my son at this point so I’ll have to rule that out. I have made him scrub the toilet though and scoop the dog poop. That usually works.

Sweet Serendipity’s last blog post..Red, White and Yummy, I Mean Blue Pizza

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My cousin is very good at psychological punishment. Her son and daughter, 18 and 15, were forced to hold hands in public unti they could get along. This was after a particularly brutal fight between the two.

When they do something with attitude issues, she makes them do it over and over and over, until they do it with the proper attitude. Stomp down the hall to your room? Come back and walk it right, until they're too flacid to stomp or storm.

Stand in one place for an extended period of time.

But, my all time favorite, true torture if you ask me…As a child, I witnessed a cousin misbehave in front of my grandmother, multiple times. She had enough, and it was time for corporal punishment… but not before she got in a psychological round-house kick, by making him go out and pick his own switch!!! Not to tiny, or she'd have to go get one, and BY GOD, it would be a big one. She switched his arse good, too. I never misbehaved in front of her, ever, ever again…

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