There Will Be Blood

bloodshtWhen my kids were little, my husband wasn’t around a lot. He was trying to build a patient base in a two man practice.

My kids and I went everywhere together, alone. People would look at me and see all these kids without a father and ask me if I was a single parent.

The other moms at the school were convinced that I had gotten knocked up (four times! Like I was stupid enough not to figure out how to prevent that after the FIRST THREE) and invented a husband to cover my tracks.

We only saw Dad on the rare weekend when someone covered his call, and on the days when we met him in the ER.

I had four boys; we had a standing account.

I realize that we weren’t generally putting our best foot forward for his colleagues, but at least it was a guaranteed family outing.

Generally, it involved at least one set of stitches. Usually from someone launching something at someone else.

But there was this one time…

The boys and I had had dinner out. Everyone was covered in ketchup. I was exhausted, and faces did not get wiped down on the way out. They were going to take baths before bed anyway, so it really wasn’t worth the hassle.

Until the Engineer slammed the car door on the Grouch’s head. He STILL  swears it was an accident.

Luckily, we standing right by the car.

But, the funny part of the story is, that when we arrived at the ER, the nurses looked at all four of my kids with the red streaming down their little faces, and zeroed in on the one with ACTUAL blood.

Man, they’re good.

Or maybe it was because the Grouch was just that kind of kid?

There must be a million ER stories in the naked city. Let’s hear yours.

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59 Comments

Yikes, I’m sure I’ll have a story like this with my son someday. FOUR BOYS–you’re a pro!

Andrea’s last blog post..The Conclusion Of Fussiest Week

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Bad enough to ASSUME you were a single parent, but to ask you outright? Pretty BOLD!

The Dental Maven’s last blog post..The Dental Maven on: "Social Networking Sites"

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My daughter broke her foot when she was 18 months old.

The brilliant doctor, speaking to me as she ran circles around the room, said ‘just keep her off of it.’

Right – good idea, shall I use a dog crate or shackles?

Lilaphase’s last blog post..I fart in your general direction . . .

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Mr. M is still too young — KNOCK ON WOOD — for an ER story . . . yet. But I remember horseplaying with my little sister.

I swung her around and around by her ankles and then WHAM BAM Her forehead hit the bed frame. I was hysterical; she was calm. My parents rushed upstairs while I screamed and couldn’t figure out which one of us was hurt.

Until they saw the blood. Yes, hit a bed frame with your forehead at x speed centrifugal (sp/) force (there must be an equation for this — velocity times speed equals blood?) and there will be scarring. My lovely sister still has a scar, though thankfully it is almost invisible. She says she has forgiven me.

The Lawyer Mom’s last blog post..I Want What I Have and Other Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy

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themother Replies:

Mr. M isn’t too young. We had SEVERAL ER visits by 7. Mr. M is very lucky. Mr. M is also an only–we have had very few instances of a child inflicting wounds on himself. They usually have “help.”

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I hate the ER, luckily (knocking on wood here) we haven’t taken too many trips. The worst by far involved a stomach flu, dehydration and a very lethargic four year old. We sat up with her all night, while they gave her fluids through and IV and waited for improvement. That and some Popsicles worked wonders for her, but after being up for more than 24 hours and coming home to a suddenly energetic preschooler was a little rough, but my husband and I were relieved enough to nap for a couple of hours while she periodically asked us if we were finally awake.

mrsbear’s last blog post..Creativity in Hindsight – Spin Cycle

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At least they didn’t ask you if you were the camp counselor.

No ER stories here. 3 girls. Knock on wood.

When we were little, my brother launched himself over his handle bars several times. I learned how to tape the gashes shut though so he only went to the ER once.

I was pushed off my tricycle at 2 and ended up with my front teeth being shoved up into my gums. I hear they took me to the ER for that.

In HS my sisters landed in the ER from self inflicted wounds of the clumsy and very tall sort. 6’1″ sister skipped into a rough wood door way and ended up with stitches on the top of her head and a big bald spot. Oh and a concussion from hitting the deck once she came unhooked from the door frame. I was laughing so hard from witnessing it that everyone thought we were kidding until she finally stood up and a sheet of blood flowed over her face. It was like Carrie, man. I couldn’t drive I was laughing so hard. I’m laughing now. That was funny.

AmyAnne’s last blog post..Heels

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