Don’t Have a (Sacred) Cow!

Monday, February 16, 2009

Cheryl Marland (Flickr), CC 2.0

Two weeks ago, Brain Dunning wrote an article for SkepticBlog entitled, “What’s Your Sacred Cow?” He says that, as a skeptologist, he frequently gets hit with comments like, “I really enjoy your posts debunking all that paranormal/superstitious/bad science stuff, but you were absolutely wrong about….”

This is the Sacred Cow. The thing we believe in so strongly that no evidence to the contrary will convince us. The thing that had better not come up in cocktail conversation, or we’ll be raising everyone’s blood pressure, including our own.

I hit the button to reply, and then realized I don’t have one. Well, I don’t have one that anyone could ever DEBUNK, anyway.

Fast forward two weeks, and I have run smack dab into the sacred cow wall.

I trust you, dear readers, to tell me if I’m wrong. Maybe I am. You be the judge.

A well-known Mommy Blogger posted a rant on her website about that poor woman who got thrown out of Denny’s for breast feeding (I won’t mention who, because I’m not exactly on her good graces list at the moment).

I left a comment. which is where I got myself into trouble.

Let me preface this by saying that I am an enthusiastic former breast feeder (former, not as in reformed, but as in Stretch has better things to do). I nursed loudly and proudly, everywhere, off and on for over 10 years. Perhaps I was fortunate, because I never faced anything more malignant than a scornful glance. I never got thrown out of anywhere (or perhaps they were just cutting their losses? It would have taken five cops and a forklift to get me out. I can be a wee tad bit stubborn about stuff like that).

I even had a portrait taken nursing my youngest, so I could remember it forever. (My mother-in-law took one look at it and said, “They’ll take pictures of anything these days.”)

SO, when I left the comment, I might have been just a bit sarcastic. I have a tendency to do that. But it was in SUPPORT of the argument.

I used a reductio ad absurdum approach, implying that if we are going to ban women from breast feeding in public because someone thinks that showing a snippet of a bodypart is inappropriate , we really ought to do something about those guys who wear their pants so low that you can see their cracks in public. The point, of course, is that there are far more distasteful things than breastfeeding that are tolerated by society without much disdain, and, in fact, generally with good humor, and that we can extend the argument from bodily modesty to Denny’s core constituency, the male misogynist rednecks who are most likely to complain about a woman nursing in public.

Now I’m the evil bitch who said that the lovely, natural act of breast feeding was somehow like the nasty plumber guys showing their cracks. The knee jerk reaction is to be offended, and make no attempt to get the point. I’ve been banned from the website, so I can’t even explain that this was meant to be SARCASM, people.

Now, I’m the first to admit that I hadn’t had my coffee yet, and I was in a hurry because I had to drop the Goth off at school. I will also admit that sarcasm sometimes doesn’t work as well in print as it does in person (I got bitten by that one this week, too, on a long conversation on Twitter with a lovely woman who was spoofing ME, and I didn’t get it until the next morning, when it hit me in the head like a Berry aneurysm exploding. Sorry, again, HIRH).

Also, I had just finished leaving a far MORE sarcastic comment about kinky hermaphroditic worm sex for the Bloggess. But I swear, she deserved it.

But how could anyone think that ANYONE would really mean that breast feeding is like ass cracks? Honestly.

The Sacred Cow rears it’s ugly head. That thing we believe in so desperately that we lose our sense of HUMOR.

It’s everywhere. The Mommy Wars, exemplified by the furor over Rachel Cooke’s article last week, are a good example. I hope I managed to make my point about how useless it is for women to go after each other. We should be saving our energy to go after THEM.

The nurses’ lobby that had a sacred cow when some hamburger joint advertised their guaranteed-to-cause-a-coronary burgers by sending their sexy waitresses out in nurses uniforms.

The feminists (and social conservatives–who would have thought they would agree on anything?) who had a sacred cow over GoDaddy’s Superbowl ads (my teenage boys howled).

So, tell me if I’m wrong. In the meantime, I’m going to end with:

For gods’ sakes, people, lighten up.

DISCLAIMER: The Mother’s Handbook would like to make it clear that the use of the cow as imagery in this article about the lovely, natural art of breastfeeding is in no way meant to imply that the lovely, natural act of breastfeeding is in any way like a cow. Honest.

Send this to the person bothering you today!

If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!

Breast Feeding, Toddler Style

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.

46 Comments

Liz

Monday, 16th February 2009 at 9:19 am

This is quite typical of the comment crowd. No matter where you are leaving your two cents, whether it be an article on abortion or how to roast a chicken, there will be people out there who … well, let’s just say I hope they spend all day in front of their computers fuming because I shudder to think of them out in society.

The scary thing is that I don’t think it’s about the one “sacred cow” – I think people nowadays are just incredibly sensitive and intolerant. Because those people that were too angry to get your humor, probably hopped onto the next comment board to freak out about immunizations or organic food or any of the other gaggle of things moms are losing their minds over.

Unless you consider someone’s whole opinion system a sacred cow….

Liz’s last blog post..The Guersney Literary and Potato Peel Society by Mary Ann Shaffer and Annie Barrows

[Reply]

themother Replies:
February 16th, 2009 at 10:31 am

Unfortunately, Liz, I think you’re probably right. And yet I feel compelled to try to fix that, one sarcastic comment at a time.

[Reply]

AmyAnne

Tuesday, 17th February 2009 at 5:54 pm

First, the lovely act of breastfeeding is so much like a cow that I take offense that you didn’t mean to offend the lovely, natural act of breastfeeding. I was a walking, talking cow for 3 years of my life. End of story.

Second, we can only defend our use of sarcasm by using it more. We have to plow through those poor humorless souls and spit them out the back like they never existed. Until we dominate. Because we will.

AmyAnne’s last blog post..I Said STAY

[Reply]

themother Replies:
February 17th, 2009 at 7:09 pm

When I was in my residency, five of us were breastfeeding at once, and we kept pumps in our (collective) offices. Whenever I hooked up (discretely, under a poncho), the male residents would cry, “MOO.”

Supportive lot, eh?

[Reply]

Annie @ PhD in Parenting

Tuesday, 17th February 2009 at 7:53 pm

I’m a huge lactivist, but enjoy a good sarcastic comment about it here and there and would not have been offended by your comment.

One of the best things I overheard on twitter during the whole facebook affair was “If breastfeeding = sex, then formula feeding = using a dildo, in public.”

Annie @ PhD in Parenting’s last blog post..Want a Natural Birth in a Hospital Setting? 10 Questions to Ask

[Reply]

themother Replies:
February 17th, 2009 at 7:56 pm

Annie: I’m going to remember that one.

[Reply]

Helene

Tuesday, 17th February 2009 at 9:50 pm

I think some people are just overly sensitive! And everyone has a right to their opinion…and for God’s sake, you were agreeing with her!!! Could she not see that? Obviously, she lacks a good sense of humor!

Helene’s last blog post..Tuesday Random Thoughts

[Reply]

themother Replies:
February 17th, 2009 at 10:23 pm

Thanks, Helene, I needed that.

[Reply]

liza

Wednesday, 18th February 2009 at 6:19 am

I have to agree with Helene, why didn’t she see that you were on her side? I breastfed my kids too but not for a long time. Back here, breast feeding is very much encouraged and I’ve never heard of anyone being thrown out of an establishment because she is breast feeding!

liza’s last blog post..WW – Angel of Hope

[Reply]

themother Replies:
February 18th, 2009 at 9:37 am

I don’t think she actually read more than the first line. She decided to be offended, without even paying attention to what was actually being said.

[Reply]

Queen

Wednesday, 18th February 2009 at 11:29 am

This post has “moo” written all over it. I’m so laughing that you said worm sex. lmao

Queen’s last blog post..Online Dating Profile Tips

[Reply]

Lawyer Mom

Thursday, 19th February 2009 at 9:33 am

You are totally right about the knee-jerk phenom sweeping the globe. And what a lot of BS that you are banned from the site! Ridiculous.

This story reminds me of the furor yesterday when New York Post ran cartoon showing 2 police had shot a monkey. Caption was “guess someone else will have to write the stimulus bill now.” Context was that in real life a gorilla had escaped from zoo and police had to take him down.

Okay. So. Do you see any, or even a bunch of, terrible reprehensible racism here? Is it just me because I don’t. I don’t get the hue and cry (story carried by msnbc and maybe? other networks).

Seems to me if you’re looking to be offended, you can turn virtually anything into fodder for your offended cause.

Email me that blog post with the breast feeding if you like, and I’ll check comments and report back. And leave a comment defending you – unless they took it down?

[Reply]

themother Replies:
February 19th, 2009 at 10:33 am

I did see that cartoon (on a Science blog, no less!). I have to admit that I didn’t get it (although, the stimulus bill does remind me of the Wall St. Journal’s dart throwing monkeys. Maybe that’s what they were going for), but I didn’t see it as racist and I didn’t think they meant Obama.

Being overly sensitive isn’t going to cure racism. Probably the opposite. If we have to tiptoe on eggshells around each other, how is that going to help us see each other as equals?

[Reply]