The Rules Don’t Apply to Her!

These are the women who think that signs, warnings, and rules of the road are guidelines. Suggestions, really.

We’ve all met them. We’ve all fumed about them.

The women who zoom past the entire carpool line and let their kids out in the “No loading/unloading” zone. ‘Cause that just applies to cargo, right? Not kids? Not THEIR kids.

The women who hold up an entire lane on a small street to chat with each other through the windows of their Suburbans. ‘Cause their little gossip fest is SO much more important than you getting your toddler with the broken leg and the seizure disorder to the hospital.

The women who pull straight through stop signs, or barely stop and don’t give you your turn. ‘Cause where THEY need to go is SO much more important than where you are headed.

The women who simply leave their enormous cars in no-parking zones. ‘Cause fire trucks are overrated, anyway.

And my personal favorite: The women who pull out of my son’s high school going the wrong way on a one-way street, ’cause it’s just SO much more convenient than going right and making a uey. And if they hit a teenage driver head-on, well, that’s just a freak accident.

I’ve had it. I’m mad as hell and I’m not going to take it anymore!

My kids have those little nerf dart gun toys. (Yes, I stole all the darts, years ago. But I swear, it was justified.)

I’m going to buy new darts, with suction cups. I’m going to put little flags on the ends of each one that say, “THE RULES DON”T APPLY TO ME!”

And I’m going to shoot them at the car of the next bitch who thinks she can park in the no-parking zone, or let out her entire clown vehicle full of forty kids with backpacks and school projects on the street, right in front of the NO LOADING sign.

Then, I’m going to call the local police station and tell them to be on the lookout for cars with “THE RULES DON’T APPLY TO ME!” darts.

I’m thinking three ought to be the legal limit.

You get three, you get pulled over. Just ’cause.

“Excuse me, ma’am, but I couldn’t help noticing that you have three “THE RULES DON’T APPLY TO ME” darts on your rear bumper. Would you mind telling me how you acquired those?”

She can try to explain how her schedule is so much more important than all of ours.

And then he can give her a ticket.

Is everyone with me? Anyone else willing to get their old nerf dart guns out of the closet?

(To segue: the winner of this week’s Momism award is: Gliajenn, for, “This isn’t a democracy; it’s a benevolent dictatorship.” If you haven’t left me any momisms, I’ll get out my nerf gun.)

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