All Last Minute Requests Must Be Submitted in Triplicate

tray_of_cookiesshtSome of you who follow me on Twitter (tmhmom, ’cause The Mother was apparently already stolen by some blackguard) got to listen to my hissy fit last week when the Goth announced that he needed twelve dozen cookies for tomorrow.

This is a classic parenting dilemma, affectionately referred to as, “The Last Minute Request,” but usually known as, “WHY THE HELL DIDN’T YOU TELL ME THAT LAST WEEK!”

The Last Minute Request is usually a book your child needs for school. He has known that he needed it for a month. His teacher has known since the beginning of the school year. But you find out at 6 pm on the day before your son has to have read the first five chapters.

So you jump in the car and go to the local bookstore. They are out of said book, of course, because EVERYBODY needs a copy by tomorrow. So you go to the not-so-local bookstore. They are also out of said book, because everybody needs a copy by tomorrow, and most of the mothers who didn’t know until yesterday started there, knowing that the local bookstore was going to be sold out. So you go to the bookstore clear across town, only to find out that some &%^$ teacher at a school you’ve never even heard of has assigned the same &%^$ book for tomorrow.

The Last Minute Request is the reason I’m a card carrying member of Amazon Prime. I don’t drive; I surf.

Other, far more hair-pulling last minute requests:

A shoe box for a diorama for tech-theater. Oh, and by the way, do we have any little bitty furniture? How about a one-inch tall kerosene lamp?

Swiss guard costumes. We’re doing a movie for Spanish class, and we’re stealing Monty Python and poking fun at the Spanish Inquisition, and it would be so much more believable if we had those really cool costumes with the balloony britches, ruffs and leiderhosen. By the way, we’re shooting it tomorrow. Can we use the house and send the little ones to the pound?

Science fair projects. Anyone ever try to put together a last-minute science fair project? Let’s just say, you’re not going to get a particle accelerator. A lemon battery, maybe. (I LOVE science. I HATE science fair. Science fair was invented to give parents duodenal ulcers. I blame the gastroenterologists’ lobby.)

Suffice it to say, twelve dozen cookies was only a minor blip in the spectrum of last minute requests. it wouldn’t have even made a blip at all, except that I was already making 60 rolls for an event for my husband.

It probably wouldn’t have been interesting enough fodder for an article, if the next morning had gone better.

The Goth took one look at his carefully boxed, lovingly baked, twelve dozen cookies and said, “THESE HAVE NUTS! I CAN”T TAKE COOKIES WITH NUTS!”

I have a new policy. All last minute requests must be filled out in triplicate.

I suppose it’s not surprising, then, that, when the Grouch announced today that he needed a copy of Dante’s Inferno by tomorrow, and it had better be the Barnes and Nobles version, I reminded him that he had a driver’s license.

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113 Comments

Ok, so last year almost 10 y/o was in 3rd grade. Really this was the first time she had book reports and deadlines and all that. I can see how I was supposed to keep track in the background that she was staying informed and up on things.

I’m lucky that she is organized naturally, keeps her folder together and takes notes. But I was miffed when she came to me and said that BTW mom I need Island of the Blue Dolphins by tomorrow. Really I should have had it today. Huh?! Checking in with my friends I found out she was given the directions for this whole production, which only started with the book and would get more complicated, 2 weeks prior. Geesh. But I also got grief that I should be the one keeping up on this crap, not her because she’s only 9 for crying out loud.

I’m juggling 3 kids, a husband and a house. When do I get to hand this over to the kid?! Why can’t I set the rules now so that down the line I can minimize these last minute requests? Look kid, I need a 4 day lead time on any purchase. Immediate information on any project if you need my participation. And the consequences are you get put at the end of the queue. Wait your turn.

Oh Mother, in all your wisdom, tell me is this really too much to ask of a 4th grader?

AmyAnne’s last blog post..Hot Defined?

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Oh, my gosh, is this what I have to look forward to? Because it’s already bad enough that I have to help put together a commercial for KRAZY Energy Drink the night before it’s due with my fifth grader. Making 12 dozen cookies??? I don’t think I’ve EVER made 12 dozen cookies! Probably not even TOTAL in my lifetime, let alone at one time! I’m not sure I’m going to survive the teenage years of my three boys. If I do, it will only be with your guidance…

Paula’s last blog post..Proud Parenting Moment, Episode 14,897

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themother Replies:

He also made me sit through almost eight hours of mind-numbing public forum debate as a “guest” judge (that post is coming next week). The things we do for our kids!

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Geez, I do not look forward to my son growing up and going to school. lol It seems like such a hassle!

Queen’s last blog post..How To Catch A Cheating Spouse

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As you know I have taught my daughter’s teacher not to count on me for any help whatsoever. I have done science fair and it is bad enough that you have to put the stupid project together the night before but then they actually expect you to take your evening off and sit stand there with 400 other parents acting interested. Both of these pale in comparison to the Christmas pageant which is just hell especially with an infant.

Jen’s last blog post..Special or Gifted

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themother Replies:

My reaction to science fair and Christmas pageant: HELL NO, WE WON’T GO!

As noted in Command Performances, I generally do not appear when summoned.

It’s good for kids to learn social skills, like being disappointed by the people they love. Mine got over it.

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That is an ingenious policy. Been there done that, just the words “science project” illicit cold sweats and panic attacks. We tried for a lemon battery and failed miserably, ditto on the short notice mold, and the short notice plant growth experiment…oh and let me not forget the short notice sugar crystals, they finally started to grow a week after the project was turned in for a C with no results. Screw em and their cookies and their books!

mrsbear’s last blog post..Bla Bla and the Blahs – Random Tuesday Thoughts

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Yes, tweeted with you about your cookie monster situation!

I have so been there with all the baking, donating, searching for books on Amazon, lost mouthguards for soccer tournaments in another state (where’s the Walmart? No GPS at that time); missing shin guards, for soccer; lacrosse uniforms still in the hamper…but I’ve survived (for now) now that DD26 is married & DD22 is almost launched.

We get thru it but with a few more gray hairs!

Cindi ~ Moomettesgram’s last blog post..How Mommy Bloggers Can Increase Their Technorati Authority

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