You’re Trying to Make My Life Miserable!
How many times have you wanted to scream that at someone? We don’t, of course, ’cause we’re ADULTS and we’re all supposed to be able to handle the average social situation without screeching like a raving lunatic.
No, we don’t get to say it. But we DO get to hear it. Often. Loudly. Generally hurled in our direction.
It starts around seven or eight, as soon as a child reaches the age where they understand that Mommy is a separate individual with her own needs and wants, and as soon as the child learns what “miserable” means. (NB: deliberately truncating your kid’s vocabulary is probably child abuse; it will certainly cost you money in the end on SAT prep. Won’t work, anyway. You wouldn’t believe how many synonyms there are for “miserable.”)
If you’re lucky, it goes with them to college, where they scream it at their professors and roommates instead of at you.
It makes you feel bad, right? I mean, we only want what’s best for our kids. We have to say no, really, we do, on occasion. It isn’t personal. We’re just trying to shape our young into the men/women we know they can be, and keep them safe along the journey.
You could try explaining that. Good luck. Have fun.
Eventually, however, you’ll get tired of the circular logic that runs around and around in the ensuing discussion. You’ll break down to the ever-popular, “BECAUSE I SAID SO!
Or, you can avoid that trap altogether. The correct response is:
“Yes we are! How good of you to notice! Your father and I stay up late at night trying to plot ways to ruin your life. It’s fun! At first, we weren’t sure if we were going to be any good at it, but we’re getting the hang of it now. Thanks for validating us. We do appreciate the input. Feel free to put this grievance in the complaint box with all the others…”
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7 Comments
Momisodes
Friday, 20th February 2009 at 1:02 pm
LOL! I’ll be designing and mapping out the exact location for our box very soon. My daughter is 3, and I already throw the “because I said so” out there a few dozen times a week.
Momisodes’s last blog post..Hey Lady!
[Reply]
AmyAnne
Friday, 20th February 2009 at 1:13 pm
Oh this is perfect. I love my kids. I mean L-O-V-E my kids until they hit 4ish.
My middle one made it to 5 actually, before she slung out “I don’t want this family! I want a DIFFERENT MOM!”
Of course we were in the grocery store at the time. So I looked around, bent down to her, pointed out a nice looking young woman and said “Look, that one looks nice. Why don’t you run over and see if she’ll take you?”
[Reply]
themother Replies:
February 20th, 2009 at 1:57 pm
When I was little, my mom’s favorite book was called, “The Mom Store.” Some kids decide they can do better than their current model, and trade her in.
I’ve tried to find a copy. I can’t even find it in any of those used book houses on the web. If anyone knows where I can get one, or has one I can bribe you for, let me know.
I’ve suggested many alternative mothers over the years. I’ve also helped them pack to go.
[Reply]
Lawyer Mom
Tuesday, 24th February 2009 at 10:15 pm
Damn, Mother. As usual, you are squarely on the $$ I think the precursor to the “miserable” rant is “You are just so MEAN! Why do you HAVE to be so mean?” When Mr M reverts to this chant (which is an outright admission he has no argument on the merits) or insists on a WHY answer, I say “because it’s in my DNA. And if you ask me ‘why’ again, my answer will be permanent.”
To AmyAnne (re her kids’ claim that another mom’s grass is greener): take ‘em to see Coraline. This sweet little flick is a total robo-bitch-mom validator.
[Reply]
A real child
Thursday, 19th March 2009 at 9:57 pm
Maybe if the mother actually listened to what the child had to say they would be quiet? Also, if you give them a reason to your saying no they might understand. My mother likes to say no to things i am wiling to pay for myself, how frustrating do you think that is for me????? Well just try to help them understand your reasoning before you start ignoring their rude comments.
a real child
[Reply]
themother Replies:
March 19th, 2009 at 10:09 pm
Clearly, you are a rational child who can put an argument together reasonably. This discussion is about the point when the child breaks down into circular, unbending non-logic because they have no other recourse.
Childhood IS a frustrating experience. Trust me, we mothers DO get that. It’s just that we have a few decades more experience on which to build when we say no.
[Reply]
jillian
Tuesday, 15th September 2009 at 1:18 am
My favorite 5 yr old quote. "I don't love you, you don't love me and i'm leaving. She is shouting this while dumping her entire piggy bank into her suitcase."
[Reply]
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