The Dummy Daddy Decade

Thursday, February 12, 2009

A woman from the UK named Rachel Cooke wrote an article a few days ago called “The Dummy Mummy Decade” for The Observer, which bills itself as the oldest Sunday paper in the world. In it, she argues that there exists now a generation of women who talk about nothing but motherhood and children, and we are sending feminism back to the dark ages.

Her Bad Mother ripped her apart nicely yesterday in her article, “Who’s the Dummy, Mummy?” , which is, frankly, the only reason I know about the piece, because, as I have already pointed out, we here in Texas haven’t quite entered the Enlightenment, so it would HAVE to be the oldest Sunday newspaper in the world for it to have gotten through.

If you haven’t read these articles, go. Now. I’ll wait.

Back already? Good.

I think the Observer is VERY lucky that they don’t have open comments on the article. Their servers probably would have shut down. Unfortunately, loads of irate prattle will only prove Ms. Cooke’s point. We like to talk about our kids, and we get defensive when anyone says we shouldn’t.

Mine would have gone something like this:

Dear Ms. Cooke:

Thank you for pointing out the cultural phenomenon which you have so literately dubbed “The Dummy Mummy Decade.”

We are sorry we are boring you. Just remember, please, that not all women are as fabulous as you. We don’t all have glamorous jobs in journalism, two income households without kid expenditures (allowing us to spend tidy sums on pretty frocks), and lots of time to devote to reading the latest bestsellers or watching the latest indie movie. We are too busy extolling over our child’s poop.

So, when we meet a woman of your fabulousness at a cocktail party, some of us find ourselves a little outmatched (your examples all seem to be from cocktail parties; you confess that the mothers you know PERSONALLY aren’t all that bad). We may retreat into motherhood as the only thing we know how to discuss with your mightiness. Forgive us our insecurity.

On the other hand, we might be just as worried about YOUR self-absorption, if you began prating on about those indie movies that you had time to watch, and those bestsellers you had time to read.

But, while we’re on the subject of generations of a sex that are setting evolution on its ear, and setting a bad example for the world, I would like to introduce you to the Dummy Dad Decade.

These are the men you meet at cocktail parties who can’t stop talking about sports. They live, breath and die by sports. They can’t carry on a normal conversation without adding in the name of some athlete who just got caught doping or some team that just managed to get themselves into the playoffs.

This phenomenon is SO pervasive, that whole sections of NEWSPAPERS have been devoted to it (even the Observer. I checked. But they seem to have the football rules a little mixed up). It is discussed on the news EVERY NIGHT.

And men who don’t have teams of their own? They become sad, deluded schizophrenics who invent imaginary teams to play with.

What is this generation of men doing to the cause of male social evolution? What kind of role models are they, when they cast aside the important male values of sexism and world domination, in favor of fantasy football?

And what message does that send to the opposite sex? Clearly, with male weakness showing, it’s time for women to go for the throat, and return them to their prehistoric position at the bottom of the social ladder.

But, wait. We can’t. We’re too busy going after each other’s jugulars.

Send this to the person bothering you today!